the mystery and the nostalgia.



life is so crazy. 

no matter where you go or who you're with, there's always something to miss or wish for.

when i was young i just wanted to be older. i wanted to turn 16, then 21... and now i sometimes forget how old i am. am i 27? no wait, 28? when i went to college i wanted to move back home. when i lived at home i wanted to move to NYC or CA. now that i've moved away, i miss the east coast and i miss being a "kid". 


i doubt everyone thinks like me, but i do suppose the human mind just likes to think, reminisce, imagine... and i'm thinking i should just get used to the feeling of nostalgia, while trying to remain as content in the moment as possible. because i know, for most instances in my life, i look back and wish i could go back for just a few moments, to feel those things i once felt again.


every moment is special and worthy of future nostalgia. that's what it comes down to. even the times of struggle and tremendous change are beautiful because they have the power to transform. some of my most magnificent memories stem from heartache and challenge, blossoming from them with grace and new found happiness.

the thing that's the hardest for me to wrap my head around is the concept of time. i know all beings wonder what's up with time. it's so mysterious and elusive. we can't move backward, and we can only revisit the past in our minds. but those moments in the past don't seem so long ago, yet the memories become more distant and blurry each year. why can't i hold onto those moments with more clarity? why can't i fully appreciate the present so that i don't have to look to the past anymore? and the future (holy shit!) we have no idea what's going to happen!

i do know one thing though, right now is the only place i can be, no matter how hard i long for the past or the future.

let us be still, and be here. it's all there is.

Comments

  1. Oh being still in the moment is so tough! And for what its worth, I absolutely think the same way.

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  2. Oh beautiful entry Sis. I agree with your opening paragraph. I'm usually looking forward to something different that is coming my way. And now I'm often looking backwards at whats past and sometimes i feel really sad that whats behind us is "gone"
    It's such a trippy thing, this Time. Does't it seem to go SOOO fast. Even every day goes fast. It seems like it's night time right after the sunrises. I guess it takes daily practice to manage our time so that we're truly LIVING in each moment. I continue to learn how quickly it's gone therefore I try to cherish the precious moments while I'm in them. And other times it's the opposite and I'm asking the universe to speed up to get past something hard, or get to something good.
    When I have these thoughts I remind myself to write. It's such a cool thing to write down how we're feeling today so we can look back at it in all the tomorrows. So when times past and some memories are foggy we can turn to our words we once wrote when it was fresh.
    Thats like your blog! It's like a journal with pictures you can always look back on! Love it.

    Your lil sis.

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