Back to the heart.

If you've stuck by me and Purusha on social media you may have noticed some changes recently. (And thank you for staying with me!)

The biggest change, of course, was moving back east to Connecticut. We live further out near nature than we did years ago, and are loving being near family and away from hot and crowded SoCal. Los Angeles will always hold a special, sweaty part of my heart. I hope to visit soon, and I still run much of Purusha operations from there! I love the seasons here in New England and feel like I've gone back home. (Um fall?! It's just about the best thing ever!)

The other change in Purusha has just been me, Hayley, resurfacing into my work. I'll be totally honest here, I removed myself and my tastes from Purusha a long time ago. I thought in order to be profitable I had to make what sold best and put aside what I wanted to make. That seemed to work for a little while, I just didn't think much about it.

Lately though, my subconscious has been speaking up. There was a disconnect between me and my brand. I thought it was ok, smart even, to distance myself and not get emotionally involved with my work. Create what the market demands and put your creativity elsewhere. I believed Purusha was pretty much a goner and I'd lost control of the vision. It was almost like being fired, but you fired yourself. And the new owner has no idea what she's doing because she doesn't understand the product or the customer. Great business plan!

I entertained the idea of new brands; trying out another yoga brand, random products on amazon, and even a maternity clothing line. I thought maybe I could fit my personality in somewhere else. None of these things clicked for me. It felt a little like I'd dumped the love of my life and now I'd seen how slim the pickings were.

With much thinking, meditation, and writing I've learned there was nothing 'wrong' with Purusha. What was wrong was me. There's no way you can run a business if your heart's not in it. You'll run out of energy, you'll resent your work, you'll be frustrated all the time. I just got to the point where I couldn't live like that anymore. It turned my usual optimistic outlook on life into a sense of doom.

I'd call myself a sellout if I was super successful at selling out, but I wasn't even that. So I was a sellout that couldn't sell. What was there to lose if I started making what I liked again?

Life changes so much from your 20s to your 30s. You have children, you get lines on your face, the world is not so black-and-white. I don't expect to run Purusha with the wide eyed and naïve optimism of 10 years ago. I wouldn't want that anyways. I want the truth even if it's painful, because it'll come out eventually anyways.

I'm ready to create again. I'm actually enjoying posting Instagram stories and live videos sharing what I'm thinking and what I'm working on. I couldn't do this before because I didn't believe in what I was doing. Everything changed once I made the decision to respect my heart's vision. I hope I don't lose some of my loyal customers, but I know some people won't like what I make because it's going to be different. I'm sad to see those people go, but there's no other way. I believe I'll find others that share in what I truly love.

I'm super excited to share my next collection and the new and improved heart centered Purusha! It'll be an evolution and take time to be mine again, but it's in motion and that's all I could ask for. I bow to you in supporting me, and I hope that will continue. I love you for reading this! Namaste.

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