how it should be.

happy friday!

this video was the first video i watched this morning, randomly, thanks to patrick.

man, i cried because it's so beautiful, but i also cried because of the pain and fear you see in the animal's face. 

i really cannot handle the death of a precious animal; watching it, i am immediately welling up in tears. 

this really makes me think, i should NOT be eating animals. i've mentioned this before, but i feel like if i can't handle watching an animal die and look into it's eyes, then i really have no business eating meat. i've killed a fish before, and it was definitely hard and sad. to watch the flapping body bounce around until is finally stops is rough :( . but i did it, said a prayer, and ate that fish for dinner with much celebration. this feels like the right thing to do to me.

it makes me upset that we common civilized humans are so far from the animal's life and its slaughter. we don't have to partake in any of the messy real stuff, only witnessing the tasty piece of meat at the grocery store or restaurant (or farmer's market if you're lucky!). it's not fair to the animal, and the respect if should be given for sacrificing its life for us.

the problem is, our society makes it so easy to forget. a hot dog on the street smells sooo good and it doesn't look anything like an animal. but within that tasty morsel is suffering, pain, fear... it is unacceptable, and i wish we could all see a picture of the animal's face on the packaging of a piece of meat.

i truly believe the worst thing you can do in regards to injustice and suffering is to FORGET. i cannot allow myself to forget what i know about eating meat. i cannot forget the face of an animal that's taking its last breaths. for that reason, i've decided to quit eating meat.

i really want to learn to fish, so i can be responsible for the animal i eat. i want to pay the precious being my respects, and understand the sacrifice it made for me. when i look into a cow, a pig, a chicken's eyes, i see liam. i could never eat liam, obviously, so why should i think i am strong enough to eat meat?

these are just some of my thoughts today... it's good to step back and take a look at the decisions you make everyday, and remember why you make them...

have a beautiful merry veggie filled weekend! 


work on what you love, and soak up positive people!

this is the mantra i've been telling myself the past few days. phew!!! it helps!

no matter what negative people do or say to you, they cannot take away the love that you've worked on in your life. people can be cruel and heartless, and it's just because they're the ones hurting inside. nothing to do with me at all. i know i'm a good person and i've done nothing wrong. i do though just wish all relationships could be amicable, but sometimes you just have to let go and realize no matter what you do, you can't change someone's damaged psyche. oh well...

so yeah, i've just been delighting in my work, and hanging close to kind people. all our neighbors up here are the greatest sweetest people. we had dinner with some of them last night, and it totally made me feel like a normal happy human again. i have so much good around me, and i just need to focus on what's positive.

we're on the hunt for a new apartment, and so far, so eh. haha. we've only looked at 2 places this week... in la conchita. we didn't know before looking at the places that la conchita is prone to really bad landslides. one of the apartments we looked at was sooo incredible!! freaking HUGE, amazing kitchen, 2 fireplaces, a beautiful porch, super sweet landlord... but then we looked off the porch and saw a bunch of crosses on a gated hilly spot. i guess that is where 10 people died in 2005 from a terrible mudslide. and get this, one of the crosses said 'PAT'!!! aaaahhh!!! i felt so sad something like that happened there, and pat and i both knew there was no way we could live there. :(

tomorrow we're looking at a few places in ventura, so i'm excited and hopeful. we will find something so great for us, and be looking back at this crazy experience with a laugh before we know it!

time to screen print and have fun working on what i love- my purusha people!

 hope you have a beautiful day!


a sweet evening.

last night we took a much needed break from our land lord blues up here on the mountain. (i'll tell you more about it some time!), and ventured to upper state street to meet my sis and her man at palapas mexican restaurant.

it was soo cute in that place, but for some reason, i forgot to take photos in between guzzling coronas and venting about our current situation! ah!

we all ate burritos, drank a bucket of beer, laughed, and planned. it was just what i needed!

after dinner we went to kate and chris' place and liam ate his burrito to go ;). hehe, yes, he's a spoiled one!

kate showed me all her amazing shells from dominican republic, and the incredible photos from her recent trip too. i so want to get away to an island in the near future... meanwhile, pat and chris talked politics and world news, agreeing upon the usual 'what's wrong with republicans?!' lol. i love love love my little santa barbara family so much.

life moves all around, up, and down; but through it all the love we give comes back. i feel like nothing can touch me or hurt me when i'm embraced with the sweetest loving people in the world! horray!

hope you have a beautiful day!


love by the ocean.

some shots from my run near the beach.

hope your day is lovely!


scenes from the weekend. 

we had a pretty peaceful weekend.

the weather was terrible, cold, and rainy, so all the more reason to be as cozy as possible! we took a few beach walks and a hike with kate earlier in the week. and watched A TON of dragonball Z and shark tank. haha.

patrick and i made the best breakfast of all time yesterday- toasted bread with bacon wrapped around it and an egg inside! it was fantastic!!! i'm still thinking about it... ;)

today i am merrily back to work on my next batch of purusha orders. some days i feel so refreshed and ready to create clothing, and blessed to be doing so. i'm working on my business plan too, figuring out the next steps i need to take to grow purusha people! i'm also cruising around craigslist trying to find our new apartment. i really don't want to move again, but today, i'm just keeping it positive. we're going to find an even better home and life will just keep getting brighter everyday. there is nothing to be afraid of. that's for sure.

i'm SUPER excited too, cause this weekend we're doing to LA's fashion district. i am going to be all over the garment factories and fabric shops. eeee!!!

hope you're having a glorious day! much LOVE!


our wooden house in the clouds.

yes, today we are living in the clouds.

the sweet plants my sister kate got me. they are totally filling the void in my heart from my other plants that were taken from me. i love these new little guys. so much. they look cool in the fog, don't they?!

hoping our sheets will dry somehow today...


today reminds me of one of my favorite old songs. it's so fitting.

hope your weekend is beautiful! lots of love to you!


my morning mantra.


hope you're feeling just dandy today!

the past few days, i've been a little stressed, to say the least. some complications have arose in our living situation, and it looks like we'll be moving again in about a month. i am sad to leave this sweet humble little abode of ours, and our neighbors are just fantastic... but patrick and i are realizing, or remembering, why we moved out here and what we are looking for. so we're going to keep looking! and we shall find!

i've been able to meditate a little this week, but not as much as i would like. i don't know why, when stresses bubble up, somehow my motivation to actually take care of my mind lessens. perhaps i just get lazy and scared, or i want to dwell on my pain for some strange reason?

and then i go back to myself, and return to my breath and my positive mantras, and everything is good again. it's quite miraculous!

this morning, i began my day, before anything else happened, with:

12 deep breaths. each breath, i am more relaxed.
i love myself. i respect those around me.
it feels so good to let go.
i feel good about myself and my future.
my good qualities are coming out more and more.
i trust that with this chaos comes order and beauty.
i believe in where i am right now. i will go where i am meant to.
i am love. i am presence.
it feels so good to let go.
a golden light...
encompasses me, embraces me.
in my golden light, i am safe.
it feels so good to let go.
12 more deep breaths. i find i am in the most relaxed state i've ever known.

the shape for my day has been set. i am so grateful for the choice of our thoughts. i choose only the good and true ones today. namaste.


moments of color and peace.

moving can be stressful, that's for sure. so much is going on right now with my work and with our living situation... i just need to breathe and trust everything will work out.

i am really cherishing the little moments in my day that i can be outside and immerse myself in solitude and in the bright colors of purusha.

uncertainties abide at this time, and i need to just be ok with that. change is good. things are about to change again for me, and i just need to understand it's for the best.

may your day be full of deep breaths and gratitude for the changes that help us grow! namaste.


“to live fully is to let go and die 
with each passing moment, 
and to be reborn in each new one.” 

~jack kornfield

here are some photos from around where i live:

the driveway- it's kinda scary! ;)

our road

views from the backyard! oh boy!

hope your day is just beautiful! happy monday to you. sending you a great big hug!


my response.

to this article:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/15/change-my-mind-yoga-is-a-hindu-practice_n_1346129.html?ref=religion

it's kinda quick, and i could most likely edit it, but i don't have time today :). i wanted to post it on huffington post, but it's way too long. haha!

i really enjoyed this debate.

tara has very kind and thoughtful response providing her definition of yoga, and its inclusivity. we each have the power to find the cosmos radiating within us. science has proven we are all made of star stuff! pretty incredible! tara addresses how yoga has become, in the west, a means of health and well being. it really can be whatever you want it to be, because YES it belongs to nobody. it has evolved now to a philosophy that is not like religion. it is your own personal thing. why do we care to judge another's practice anyways? because we want to have the power of ownership- right on point by tara, i think.

a lot of comments on huffington post are saying that tara is focusing too much on ownership, but isnt that what this debate is about? is yoga a hindu practice? in other words, do hindus get to call yoga their own?

yes, yoga began with hinduism, but with the beauty of evolution, it has become so much more than that. it heals, calms, and unites people. it's truly become beautiful here in america. 

and those that practice just for a bikini body? so what? isnt the body your temple? and why do we care how someone else practices yoga? why the need to control others? why be so self righteous?

suhag's response, to me, is not clear nor does it address how yoga asana has been molded and developed by the west. she mentions how yoga started in india, and how the poses were named for indian gods. her only reflection on yoga in the west is that it has been watered down and secularized by indian gurus to appeal to the west. well, exactly, this is why american yoga is no longer hindu. it never has been! if it was, it wouldnt be that billion dollar business suhag speaks of. yoga is such a success in america because of its inclusivity. suhag defines a bit of hinduism, but does not touch on how karma and reincarnation relate to modern american yoga. and btw, what is 'cafeteria spirituality'? it seems quite egotistical to put down another's spirituality, why do YOU get to judge? because you're more spiritual?! suhag's closing arguments lack depth, and in her second to last paragraph suhag agrees with everything tara says! that "there are no chosen people, no prophets, no my way or the high way". so why still claim your group gets to have the yoga practice? quite the contradiction. then suhag says "without hinduism yoga falls flat on its face." where did this come from?! lol! where are the arguments to support this bold statement?! 

glad to see tara has changed more minds here. this debate makes more clear that religion, especially fundamental religion, tends to separate people. we need yoga more than ever to bring people together no matter their differences, and we should use it to unite for common good and for universal love.

check out the article above, and let me know what you think! bye for now my sweet friends!


our home.

good day!

please, come take a tour of our lil' house!

nice big windows we love :)

the kitchen!

sweet painting by my mama.

liam stretching!

my work area/ "dining room"

the amazing piece of art by our friend corey pane.

the living room.

our bedroom

the bathroom! tehe ;)

i love the window in the shower.

our mini walk in closet

patrick strategerizing.

speaking of strategerizing, i gotta get back to work!

hope your day is just grand!

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