21 Weeks!

It looks like we're halfway there! Things are going as well as they can, I think! My biggest complaints are some leg cramps when I'm laying in bed at night, still some nausea here and there, and my round ligament varicosities in my groin :/ Basically my ligaments just below my belly are wrapped with veins that are strained and pooling blood. So there are two little lumps there that are minorly painful and I have to be careful not to bang myself into anything or they could explode. LOL pretty stuff huh?! Now that that's out of the way... the good things!

I had my more detailed fetal anatomy ultrasound 2 weeks ago and Goldie is perfect! PHEW! Patrick was sick that day and couldn't accompany me with Shep, so I had to go to myself. This was the first prenatal appointment I've gone to without my support crew, so I felt more nervous than usual. It's just nerve-wracking to wait as they scan every organ, saying little prayers to myself that each section is ok. Once it was over I appreciated getting to see our little girl's brain, heart, face, limbs, etc, but in that moment I was just sweating. I don't remember being that nervous with Shep's fetal anatomy ultrasound, but it also feels like a long time ago, so who knows! She is measuring big for her age, which is kinda crazy because Shep always measured small. Her head looked big to me. Haha! She's super active and kicks a lot. All good news there.

I think I am bigger when I compare myself to photos of my first preg around this time. I've gained 15 lbs. I don't feel as attached to my body as my first pregnancy, because I know it will do what it will do regardless of how I mentally fight against it, and my body will bounce back to what it was, as it does. There's just more trust and understanding with the process. It's all so incredible and I feel insanely lucky to be getting to do this again, and to be healthy throughout it. I do miss Dr. Chang! I have a team of doctors at the clinic I use, so any of the three of them could deliver, or if for whatever reason they can't, it'll be someone I've never met at the hospital. I like one of them much more than the others, so I hope I get lucky and get her. I feel more like I'm delivering her this time, I've experienced it before and it'll all be ok.

Shep has been hovering around me this whole time, so my writing feels subpar. He's asking me what ice cream flavor I want, he has an ice cream shop. Every time he sees my tummy he gives it a kiss and asks how Goldie is going to get out. He is soooo into me right now, attached and loving and maybe even a little obsessed, but I do think he'll be an awesome big brother. My biggest worry is how to share myself with both and still give Shep the love and attention he needs. Instead of reading birthing books I need some sibling books. Any recommendations? Ok I gotta go now, I gotta eat my rainbow ice cream ;)

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