days are going by faster and faster... i love the age i am right now, but sometimes time moves too quickly.. i try to take time to be still and enjoy my moments, breathing, by the reservoir with liam. not that i'm not a young person anymore, but youth really is wasted on the young. i am just now beginning to realize the privileges and power i have as a human being with a willing mind. probably 20 years of my life were clouded in fear and doubt because of negative thought patterns, materialism, religion, and death. i suppose i was a shallowly happy girl for much of my life, which is better than many human being's lives, i know. if only then, when i was very young and resilient, i had known how to be aware of my thoughts and to be wary of information i was given. i wonder what i would be like if i had been raised without religion or the media. both really did scar me a bit. well, perhaps i am better off this way. i must be.. the challenges have made me stronger and i do cherish this life i've led, so much. i am happy with the being i am becoming.. i sometimes just wish i had arrived here sooner! it's much more comfortable and enjoyable. with every passing day i feel safer and safer, like im heading home. age is a high price for wisdom, someone said this, and i agree. i'll just keep exercising, meditating, eating well, breathing, wearing sunblock, and working hard on purusha so that i age nicely and maybe have a little $ for some kids one day. i do love it right now, right where i am. what an exciting beautiful time to be alive!

2 comments:

  1. Love your creations very much! I identified a lot with this posting ~ how were you able to go from someone with worries and doubts and whatnot to the person you are today? I am having such a hard time with this.

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  2. hello there.. thanks so much for checking out purusha!

    well, of course i dont think i will ever be free of worries and doubts fully. they are necessary sometimes to show me what i need to change in my life. i guess thats one way ive grown.. is to accept my worries as valid signals in my brain that something's gotta change.

    i also stopped following any religion. there is too much guilt and shame and confusion in all that for me. plus i just had too many unanswered questions that i realized the answer 'god did it' didnt satisfy. so ive found my own morality, developed from my own debates and experiences. i suppose the god i believe in is time, nature, and the present moment.

    i also educate myself as much as i can about current events in the world, about science, art, beautiful information... to keep me thankful for what i have, yet to inspire me to yearn for more knowledge.

    i think though the most important way ive learned to let go of fear is to just be in the moment. it sounds so cliche and but its so much harder than it seems. usually time takes care of things for me.. i just try to breathe and wait for the unpleasant moments to pass.. realize a new pleasant moment is on its way.

    i try to treat myself like i would my own child, nurture and care for myself.. if you dont, no one else will. i try to always remember no ones gonna love me as much as i can love me... so im never alone. ive always got myself and the breath of life within me. but it is also important to surround yourself with positive people that accept you for you are...

    what else.. i try to laugh at myself a lot. its hard, but once you do, things suddenly seem less serious and dramatic.

    exercise and healthy foods have helped me so much as well. the body and mind are connected.. so taking care of one helps the other.

    hope this helps.. im still learning too.. let me know if you have any tips?

    take care of yourself!

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