life cycles.

this is me and liam sleeping in the morning.  

a few days ago i felt kinda really sad about christmas being over.  my sister is gone back west, comforts and coziness are fading, and my family is not all together.  i can't just sit around and eat sweet foods and hearty meals; and soon i will be heading out west myself, leaving everything here i'm so familiar with.

my mom and i were talking that sometimes you just gotta feel it.  you have to go through those sad cold moments and not deny them.  they are a part of life and will always come and go, just like happy times come and go too.  the past couple days i'll admit i have been emotional.  i was sad, then tried to shrug off the sadness, and felt bottled up and irritable for fighting what i felt.  i found myself getting short with patrick and neglecting to nurture myself for a day or so.

i think it's better to just let it all out.  i had a good healing cry yesterday with sweet patrick to just be there and hug me.  i know he doesn't quite understand, and that's fine with me.  i'm happy just for his company and compassion.

today i feel like someone opened the blinds and let the sunshine in.  life is unpredictable, and just by going with the flow the universe takes me where i need to go.

nothing has changed this morning, yet somehow i feel refreshed and optimistic.  i feel really creative too, like new ideas and images of what i consider beautiful are flooding my head.  i just want to create that beauty and share it with you all.

and as the circle of things usually does to me, after a bout of sadness i feel absolute gratitude for the life i lead.  i get to live with my 2 best friends and wake up next to them every single day.  and during that every single day i get to create my own art that people are actually buying and loving!  what a miracle!

i'm so thankful for the ups and downs of life, because they always bring me back to this state of humility, compassion, and gratitude.

aah, i can feel the goodness in my bones today.  i treasure each moment.

namaste.