this is me and liam sleeping in the morning.
a few days ago i felt kinda really sad about christmas being over. my sister is gone back west, comforts and coziness are fading, and my family is not all together. i can't just sit around and eat sweet foods and hearty meals; and soon i will be heading out west myself, leaving everything here i'm so familiar with.
my mom and i were talking that sometimes you just gotta feel it. you have to go through those sad cold moments and not deny them. they are a part of life and will always come and go, just like happy times come and go too. the past couple days i'll admit i have been emotional. i was sad, then tried to shrug off the sadness, and felt bottled up and irritable for fighting what i felt. i found myself getting short with patrick and neglecting to nurture myself for a day or so.
i think it's better to just let it all out. i had a good healing cry yesterday with sweet patrick to just be there and hug me. i know he doesn't quite understand, and that's fine with me. i'm happy just for his company and compassion.
today i feel like someone opened the blinds and let the sunshine in. life is unpredictable, and just by going with the flow the universe takes me where i need to go.
nothing has changed this morning, yet somehow i feel refreshed and optimistic. i feel really creative too, like new ideas and images of what i consider beautiful are flooding my head. i just want to create that beauty and share it with you all.
and as the circle of things usually does to me, after a bout of sadness i feel absolute gratitude for the life i lead. i get to live with my 2 best friends and wake up next to them every single day. and during that every single day i get to create my own art that people are actually buying and loving! what a miracle!
i'm so thankful for the ups and downs of life, because they always bring me back to this state of humility, compassion, and gratitude.
aah, i can feel the goodness in my bones today. i treasure each moment.