ya know... some days you just think a lot. too much maybe? i could almost understand how someone could lose their mind with all there is to think about and analyze. and then there are other days when moments are silly and life is light, somewhat easy, shallow almost. i guess we need both kinds of days to balance each other out and not go crazy, huh?!
today, driving to the fashion district for supplies... i got to the thinking. and i know nothing i think is anything new, but when the ideas pass through my head i can't help but feel different and perhaps a little alone amongst all the cars and people. there are so many mixed emotions involved when contemplating humanity, the earth, and our future here. one second i feel really mad that we humans have turned the earth into something so unnatural; we carelessly destroy nature to prop ourselves up in our buildings hopefully for another century... without much of a thought for the next generation, or generations after that. then i feel extreme compassion for the homeless man on the side of the road in a wheel chair holding out a cup begging for something to hold him here in society a bit longer. and i want to rescue everyone that isn't loved and doesn't know a life of peace. i feel so helpless. :(
and i wonder... how much longer can we go on like this? the way humans live is not sustainable, we all know this. we don't play by nature's rules and don't have a lot of respect for the earth as a whole. it's interesting, individually we care... but in a big mass, we don't. we can't. or we couldn't keep living the way we do. buying our food shipped from across the world, eating meat from cruel factory farms, buying our clothing made in a sweatshop, driving our built-to-break cars running on finite resources that people die to get and much of the world's problems revolve around (our petroleum addiction could of course be an entire post in itself!), working SO hard everyday to barely get by as EVERYTHING is getting more and more expensive (and this will continue until we drop our dependency on oil), watching people all over the world live in poverty and abuse, and ignoring all these facts most of the time so that perhaps we can simply exist happily without worrying and spending our precious life in pain. there is so much trouble in the world... and there really isn't a thing we can do about it globally. only time and the absence of any other choice will allow change on a massive scale to happen.
but then... as i was driving home on the PCH and felt the salty ocean air touch my face, and i noticed the graceful palm tress swaying in the sunshine, i was reminded that life is beautiful. of course it is. and i say this all the time, but, i am SO lucky. it's not fair. yes, i struggle, but it's all relative. i am constantly surrounded by people that love me and encourage me, and i am working everyday to make my dream life a reality. i'm about to go for a run in the sun, and i don't have a whole lot to worry about. i live in california!! i am free to go where i please and if i make enough money, i can travel to other places in the world! that is pretty much miraculous! and in the bigger picture, i see that humans care. when there is trouble or an accident, i am always amazed at how many people come and want to help and offer their hearts. most of us don't ever want to see another human in pain, crying, or begging for life to be good to them. we innately want to look out for each other. and we all love to laugh, and most of the time are kind to strangers. we don't want to hurt each other. the smile or sweet gesture of a stranger can fully reinstate faith in humanity for that brief encounter. we all just wanted to be loved.
these contradicting thoughts danced through my mind today, and i understand this dance might go on all my life. i believe it is good to feel things deeply, and fully experience all the realms of this life. it surely is an interesting experience, isn't it?
hope your day is in harmony, and you allow your mind to do what comes naturally. much love fellow earthlings!
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