my new #1 dream.

hello my dear friends! how are you?! oh my gosh, i've missed you! i've missed sharing my thoughts, creating, imagining, dreaming, and even working. last week i was in dublin, ireland with my parents {i'll be posting a merry little blog about it this week!} for a very relaxing vacation. let me tell you, i really needed a break. isn't it just so healthy to take time away from your everyday life? and open yourself up to new surroundings, new people, and a new state of mind? i can honestly say i didn't think about clothing, designs, or business once while on my trip. in american culture where we are driven very intensely by work, it is such a sweet surrender to fully be present in a new environment, and let go of any stresses or thoughts of money and business.

which leads me to my new perspective on life! seriously, this is a BIG change for me. i've decided to reorder my priorities. money and work are no longer my #1 concern in life. it's kinda funny writing that out, because i don't think i even realized that i allowed these things to take precedence over everything else. my new #1 is no stress, just love. when i was in ireland i had zero stress. i mean, that's easy to do when you're not working and exploring a foreign country, but i think it took me going away to understand that feeling stress free is enlightening. and possible. living well is for the present moment, not for some distant time in the future when all the work is done, ya know?

i'm not going to be afraid or feel guilty about living a life of relaxation and ease. of course i will still work hard on purusha, but i'm not going to let anything about it stress me out. what's the point in living each day with unnecessary struggles and strife? this morning a few bumps in the road came up while i was working- problems with opening a business bank account, and perhaps a missing check in the mail... and i noticed my adrenalin started rising and my mindset turned to aggression and resistance. in a sick way, my brain kinda got off on it, like it was happy to have it's chemical fix of frustrations, as it usually did. but my vacation mind was just like 'hellll no. let's no go there. i like being chill.' so i didn't. i did some yoga and breathed it out.

it's unrealistic i know to think you can keep the 'on a vacation' goggles on, with life always handing you lemons and lost checks and plenty of work looming. but i don't want my body and mind to be a victim to living. i want the way i live to nourish me, taking enough time everyday to be present and just enjoy. and not feel like work is how i should be spending much of my life. as long as i can pay my bills and live a modestly delicious life, i'll be happy. i'm not letting go of big dreams for purusha, but at the same time i feel this releasing of my desire for more. like, i'm ok with what the universe gives me. finding peace today is my #1 dream.

i have everything i need right here, and all i have to do is relax into it and find i can go on a vacation in my mind for a moment anytime i like.


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