my pregnancy journal : 10

How far along?
38 weeks!

How big is the peanut?
My doctor said he's not gonna be a huge baby because Patrick and I aren't big people. He was 5.5 lbs last week, so I think this week he'll be around 6 lbs.

Total weight gain/loss?
30 lbs.

Maternity clothes?
Gah, miss clothes! We went to Anthropologie this weekend and there was SO much I wanted!! But there's no point in buying until after he's born. I have my few dresses I wear on repeat now.


I think I'm blessed with being a good sleeper. I could sleep for like 10 hours. I had a few hard nights of sleep last week, but it's mostly good. I get hip pain on my left side sometimes when I wake up. OH! Haha yesterday morning I kept waking myself up with a snort. Like it actually sounds like a pig. The weirdest thing! And I have been quite mucousy in the mornings. That's annoying and gross.

Best moment this week?
I had one really lovely yoga session this week that didn't feel like a struggle. It reminded me of what my body once was, and how good it will feel to have the baby and get back into my fitness routine, feeling strong and powerful! I have a feeling I won't ever take my body for granted again. I am super inspired to move and take good care of myself. :) I love my body more than ever for doing what it's doing.

Well the baby dropped and he's at 0 station now (the lowest he can be in the pelvis). So not so much heartburn and I can eat bigger meals, but the crotch lightening is insane. Sometimes when I walk his head is hitting my pelvis and nerves I guess and it hurts a lot. Peeing more than ever because of him being so low too. I have a hard time getting up from laying down and find myself sometimes frustrated with how hard it is to move my body. My daily walks, yoga, and exercises are a GIANT chore these days. They're just not easy at all, but I know keeping it up will make for an easier labor and faster recovery.

Food cravings?
No. I really can't say I ever had that! But I will say I am eating whatever the eff I want these days! Doctor's orders! He said to eat ice cream to help the baby put on weight, and well, I have to listen! I mean, I've always been a desert lover and indulge daily, but I'm doing so now with no remorse or worry. I'm also still trying to get plenty of protein and eat a lot of basically everything.

Food aversions?

Labor signs?
None. Lots of kicking as usual, but he seems pretty happy in there.

Belly button in or out?
Ooh it's like a little out now! Not full on outie, but a little fold of it is out. When I lay down on my back in goes back in.

What I miss?
Clothes!! Shopping this weekend made me sooo excited to be a woman with a baby outside of her! I love being a woman, and want to be fashionable and have beautiful things. And do beautiful things without a struggle. I really love clothes, and not being able to wear whatever I want is again an eye opener into how much I enjoy style. I have another clothing brand idea in the works too!

What I'm looking forward to?
Now it is the birth. We just want to meet him and get this show on the road. Patrick is definitely ready to begin this next phase of life. It's really sweet. He'll be like, 'I want the baby to come. I'm bored. (Haha!) I want something new to do.' Pat is going to be the best dad. I can't wait to see him take on that role. He's SO funny and playful, but also a great disciplinarian. He's very consistent.

I think slowly getting over the fear of labor. My dear friend Ianthe gave me some lovely words of wisdom that are really resonating with me. She said I can't be afraid during labor because this is my first time really being a parent to my boy. I need to stay calm for him, to let him know everything is ok out here. That birth is about HIM, not me. It's about delivering him here with a sense of peace and security. I'm a Mom already, and I want him to feel safe. This isn't to say it's not going to hurt, but I need to keep in mind my sense of calm is not for myself, it's to take care of him. So so sweet.

Yeah. I'm officially huge.

How are you bonding with your baby?
Well his room is all set up! I'll share some photos sometime soon. I guess I'm bonding with him by trying to take the best care of us. Exercise, good food, deep breathing, kegels. And letting go of control. I've had this fear of him getting a true cord knot, and I expressed those fears to my doctor. He said that this is only the beginning. There is always a chance something will happen to your child. So why worry now? Why start? You just have to be responsible and then let go. This is another way in which I'm not as afraid of labor now. I have no control over what will happen. Obviously I can decide for myself how to handle labor pain and if I want drugs or whatever, but what goes on during delivery to him is something I need to be ok with not knowing. I'm trying to cherish every moment with him still safe in my belly and let him know how much we all love him already.

P.S. We are totally becoming those people that decorate excessively for holidays! How do you like our spiderwebs and tombstones?! Hoping baby comes before Halloween so we can all be here to greet trick or treaters!


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