quick little getaway.
this weekend patrick and i just wanted to get out of town for a little while. we headed up to burlington, VT- my old stomping grounds, where i went to college at st. mike's ;). it was a super short trip, but worth it for our minds' change of perspective.
liam, of course, had an amazing time revisiting his old hometown, and was totally gulping up the fresh nostalgic air. pat and i took him down to lake champlain and to the dog park. he was in heaven, and remembered it all- exactly how to get to the dog park, and cried when we drove by the places we lived. liam also loves staying at a hotel with patrick and i; and we get real cozy, the 3 of us, in the king size bed.
i had a great time bringing my love patrick to a place i was before i knew him. i felt overwhelmed and almost teary eyed driving and walking through town- every little corner conjured up a memory. i could almost see my gang of friends hanging out the window at jp's bar, see people playing beer pong at this notorious party house on pearl st., or see my friends and i laying out on a blanket in the quad while people played ultimate frisbee. so much happened in the 5 years i lived in burlington, from age 18-23; really stupid shit and some of the most fun and free high moments of my life were experienced in my first venture from home. it felt bittersweet to be back as an 'adult', i suppose.
it rained a lot the day we were there, but hey, that's burlington for you.
good stuff: this trip made pat and i super excited and invigorated for our upcoming move out west in january. we are still young and need to explore and travel!! i am pumped for the future ! :)
i contemplated the human memory a lot while away. i've noticed i'm not one to think of the past very often... if anything i plan for the future, and even worry about the future. i'm in the moment often too definitely, but the past fades from me very easily. i always thought i had a poor long term memory, but maybe it's because i don't revisit my memories that much.
just before bed at our hotel room i let my mind go back... back to years ago. it's hard to believe i first came to burlington 10 years ago. i was kinda just a little girl child back then, such a different person. i was naive, more fearless, less grounded, more materialistic, short sighted; yet i felt limitless, immortal, and wild and free.
growing older is so strange, and of course i'm not old yet, but we really don't know and can't understand phases of life until we enter them ourselves on our own time. pat and i went to the 'bevy', or pearl st. beverage store, right across the street from where i used to live. we waited in line with a more pricey than usual for us bottle of red, while pretty much everyone else was buying some hard liquor and a mixer.... i looked around at all the young people and felt almost replaced. time doesn't need you or necessarily remember you. and the young folk i saw will be replaced with new ones in a few years. everyday we are entering and exiting from stages of life.
i'm beginning to realize we never quite feel our age! however, i feel this yearning to return to youth, and this sinking feeling like the door is closed and i'm locked out. the memories are all i have, and they are so fuzzy now. my mind and body have been mostly replaced with new cells, so in a way, i really am not the same person i was 10 years ago. i want to replay those blurry memories in my mind, but i have so much to do today and tomorrow, and i don't care or worry about what i used to. i can't even imagine what i will feel like once i really am getting older- like old- in my 60's and 70's... will i finally feel old then? and what will i remember?
what i remembered while away is, it's important to remember where we've come from, how we got here, and where we're going. taking some time to reach back into my mind for that sentimentality helps me not to forget my life is a journey that won't end until my last breath. i feel so much gratitude for all the people i've met and loved in my life- especially in burlington- because they've shaped who i am today. and everyday i love myself and my life more and more.
namaste my getaway.