a day in the big city!

good day all!

hope you had a super relaxing love-filled weekend!

know what?  it's true what "they" say (they, as in wise people), that you really have to leave your home base, leave your comfort zone, and do different things- all the time!  to grow and become better versions of ourselves, we have to do things maybe we aren't super comfy with doing.

good thing is, the effort is ALWAYS worth it.  and the more we do these scary things, the more we remember this to be true.  we are innately strong and capable.

i am currently upgrading to hayley 2.0.

the new hayley travels alone, does hand stands with no wall behind her, and meets people that inspire her!

this weekend i drove down to strala yoga nyc and took an arm balance workshop with the sweetly and gracefully talented noelle beaugureau.

noelle photo c/o robert sturman

i've been working on hand stands for a long time, and FINALLY am feeling ok with doing them without a wall behind me.  so i thought, what better workshop than an arm balance class?!

me smothering noelle with lovin'!!  ;)

noelle's kind open-heartedness is contagious.  i could tell everyone felt warm and special in her presence, and we each received our own hands on attention with adjustments and a warm smile.  no one was inhibited about trying out the more challenging poses.  we fell and tried awkward new things and it was beautiful.

noelle led us into arm balances in such a nonchalant and effortless, yet safe and instructive way.  poses that i honestly dread doing, i found myself in before i even knew what was going on!  it was awesome!  i really enjoyed how noelle showed us, and had us practice only about 5 different arm balances; so we could let the new feelings in our bodies and minds sink in for a bit.  

a few things from the workshop are tattooed in my mind now.  and they are super helpful lovely things.  i learned (or remembered) to let go of attachment to a pose.  sometimes i get so obsessed with accomplishing something (like a hand stand)  that i forget there will always be one more hurdle to jump over, always another pose to be met.  and then what?  begin a new cycle of desire and work and attainment?  for what?  so my ego can be somewhat satisfied for a moment while my higher self is locked up?  why?  this is not the way of the true self.  

noelle gently kept pulling us back to this point, that it's only a pose.  and if you want it, great, but the only way to it is practice.  no magic, no shortcuts, nothing amazing happens overnight, and nailing a pose doesn't make you a better person.  of course challenging poses are fun, but we need to leave it at that.  however, often with challenge comes the fear.  and fears are dissolved only when faced every day with non-judgement and compassion for the self that must watch the mind's thoughts.  

when i feel myself stressing about yoga (oh my god, so silly when i see this sentence written out, what a paradox!), i get myself laughing and feeling fine when i reflect on why i practice.  

everyone has their own reasons to practice.  my main drive to do yoga is to relax, build strength and flexibility, reunite my body and mind, and to face fears.  nowhere in my practice is there the need to become a gymnast. 

if i view my yoga in a superficial way, it helps when my higher self bring this shallow view to the surface, if that makes sense.  when i'm feeling frustrated because i can't straighten my legs in titibasana, i tell myself- yoga asana is only amateur gymnastics.  i'm not trying to become a gymnast (obviously, but my silly ego wants to show off!) or a cirque de soliel perfomer, so why the hell should i care if i can't do a pose "perfectly"??  right?!  

i practice yoga to unearth the real hayley; the hayley that is always there and unchanging amidst the anxiety, the worries, the excitement, the joy.  sometimes it just takes a person you admire to remind you of that. 

so thank you noelle for helping me to reestablish my practice and come back to my initial intention with my yoga.  (and thank you for the subtle adjustments in my poses that allow me to work with more ease and less effort.)

this morning my practice was just for fun.  what it should be.  why push myself all the time?  for what purpose?  i no longer have an answer for these questions.  the purpose is in the non-purpose.

me and the darling tara stiles, owner of strala yoga nyc.

after the workshop i walked around the city for a while, inhaling the energy and embracing the bustle.  i haven't went away on my own in a bit, so it was really sweet to wander about anonymously.  

i love visiting the city and traveling to regain a healthy new perspective on life.  this week i am feeling the harmony in knowing that everything healthy, balancing, and beautiful takes a long time, lots of practice, falling, and looking fears in the eye.  

thank you universe for allowing me to spend the day with loving kind souls and for reuniting myself with the abundance of love and sweetness waiting to be rediscovered within my own soul.  

i'm liking hayley 2.0 a lot, and i can spot hayley 3.0 in the distance.

'till next time fears...