i have accepted fear as part of life- specifically the fear of change. i have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: turn back.

as time rolls on and the seasons change, i feel excited and scared for what's to come. 

i'm moving to california with patrick and liam at the end of january.  it doesn't really feel real!  probably because we haven't started packing or planning too much yet.  but in the next few weeks, i will know the change is happening.  

my material life will be placed in boxes.

california!  i'm coming home!

how lucky am i that i can decide to travel, and just get up and go?!  

i'm happy to take on adventures while i'm still young, but there's this part of me that feels old.  it's like half of my heart wants to settle and stay here in old new england, where it's predictable and safe.  with my parents and people i've know for years.

but there's this whole world out there i don't even know, and if i don't meet it i will be sad.

so i'll take fear and excitement, uneasiness with change too, any day; rather than feel sadness and regret that i stayed for security's sake.  

the next month will be busy and brimming with changes, but i am ok with all that comes with it.  

and everyone, you're welcome to visit us in california anytime!  

happy winter solstice.  may changes continue to shape us into better beings than we ever imagined!


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