falling into the light.

gayatri mantra tank available in the shop

ancient prayers, like the gayatri mantra are timeless. above, on the tank, it says :

Om Bhur Buvaha Svaha 
Tat Savithur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi
Dhiyo Yonaha Prachodayath

Radiant Divine Soul from which we all came

Awaken the same brilliant Divine Light in me

So that inner radiance consumes all thought and emotion

Teaching and guiding me to realizing reality

so beautiful, right? i am totally feeling it. just taking a little time each day to focus on the abundance of goodness reminds me of how damn lucky i am. i've noticed very tiny changes in myself this week as i've been practicing living with more gratitude.  

for example, last night i went out with patrick to see some jazz in LA. we enjoyed it, but were both really tired. some minor things went wrong- we got lost, parking and drinks cost more than we expected, jazz can get boring... it's so easy to get wrapped up in and stuck on a cycle of silly, useless, nit picky thoughts. as we walked back to our car i felt myself tensing up, resisting, resenting. i watched it, and thought, i just want to feel GOOD as much as possible. why not feel good instead? i decided to let go of all the little bitchy thoughts and move on. move on to the good stuff. to holding patrick's hand, to driving home to our safe happy home in the mountains where a golden boy awaits us, to not taking for granted how much beauty surrounds me in this very moment. and poof! the cares disappeared. all it takes is the decision to feel good, because feeling bad sucks, and well obviously, feels bad. i'd just rather not, ya know?! sounds so plain and simple doesn't it? and this is reality. this is realizing reality, that we have the power to be as happy as we choose. we can celebrate it all, soak up this life and all its experiences, and not hang on to the dark thoughts and worries that were doing nothing for us in the first place. 

i never thought letting the light in would actually be this easy. surrendering to goodness is like a gentle fall into a fluffy soft bed. fighting against the bad stuff, focusing on it, dwelling on it, is like realizing you have a comfortable bed, but deciding to sleep on a cold cement floor because you are afraid to try out the bed and secretly get off on complaining about the cement floor. your habitual thought patterns can create such a bizarre addiction to negativity. i witness it in myself everyday. but i am undoing it now, little by little. and it is the cleanest, softest, most light feeling. it's right. 

thank you to everyone that teaches me to keep going for the divine light that is reality. i wish only the most brilliant lightness of being to you all. namaste.