the beach.

this weekend patrick, liam, and i took a little weekend getaway to santa barbara. it truly was heavenly. the weather was perfect, the people we love were inspiring, and the time to relax was just what i needed! we ate well, laughed a lot with my sister and friends, got massages (!), and played at the beach. i couldn't imagine a more perfect way to de-stress and take a short break from life. aaaah :) and now i feel recharged and happy to get back to work! oh yay! and namaste.

thoughts early this morning.

i just woke up a little over an hour ago. with this overwhelming sense of LUCK. like god damn i'm lucky to be myself in america with the education, the ability, and the opportunity to live my dreams. i'm trying to keep my life stress free and positive, but can't help but get caught up in the awe that i even have a chance to keep stresses and bad stuff away from my days.

i set the tone to my day when i read this article this morning. it's awful, painful, and just plain unfair. i somewhat understand that life isn't fair {that doesn't stop me from wishing otherwise}, but c'mon now i just can't believe where i live with so much opportunity, others live with so much struggle and despair. one woman in the rana plaza garment factory collapse is about my age, and has a broken leg and is going blind from the stampede to get out of the building. not to mention that perhaps she had family and friends that died in the disaster. and to further add insult to injury, she can't afford her medical bills. most of the brands involved in the collapse are taking no responsibility.

perhaps i'm super naive, but i just don't understand as a business owner the ability to ignore the bad shit your company does. big brands run the world, they have shareholders to respond to, and most likely they can shrug off responsibilities to the people that work below them. we've heard this before, but with great money comes great responsibility. business owners literally have the power to change the world with their practices. it's like having the super power of the jedi! but many people take that power to the dark side. there's seemingly more money to be made with the sith. sad face.

i'm obviously not claiming to be more virtuous than the common person. oh my gosh, we all have our faults. i think it's just because i make clothing that i give a ton of thought to the garment industry. my extensive research has turned me into a clean clothes crusader in my own life, and in a way i struggle with wanting to share this information within my brand. of course i don't want to tell you how to live, and i sure as hell don't want to preach to you and make anyone feel that i'm looking down on them. i can't deny that it's easy to purposefully forget everything i know when i see the perfect dress i've been wanting that's been made in bangladesh.

so i think the best thing i can do is keep sharing my gratitude for all that i have, and keep making clothing i believe in. it's good to be educated and inspect where our money is going {now more than ever as big businesses just get bigger}, but it's probably better to just focus on what's good and put your money towards businesses that are in line with your morals. i plan on writing another post soon about how to afford these ethical brands. {in short, just buy less. easier said than done!}.

i suppose that's enough of my rant for today. anyone who reads my blog, i kinda feel like you're my close friend or family, so i really do feel honored to share my inner dialogue with you. 

hope your day is beautiful. so grateful for my great luck in life that i can write and express myself, go for a walk with my dog, and perhaps feel a little like a jedi. ;) namaste.

taking stock.

happy friday! today i was inspired by my favorite blog, the daybook, who was inspired by pip from meet me at mike's! this is just a fun little thingy to update my blog with where i am in my life right now :) so here goes!

Making : clothes! ha, what a surprise, right? i'm constantly dyeing and screen printing and dreaming up new designs.
Cooking : kombucha- not really cooking. but tonight i'll probably be cooking some sort of pasta with seafood and a giant salad.
Drinking : tulsi holy basil rose tea. right this second! it's getting cooler out and i just LOVE it. winter is the best in topanga- cozy to the extreme! fog rolls in at night and burns off mid morning. we live in a cloud!
Reading: to die for: is fashion wearing out the world? by lucy siegle. most mind blowing and eye opening book about fashion i've ever read.
Wanting: our puppy! we're getting a puppy at the end of next month to be a companion and seeing eye dog to liam. we can't wait! it feels like we're having a baby!
Looking: at my 2 boys, liam and patrick, and thinking i am one lucky and blessed person.
Playing: practicing jiu jitsu with patrick. he makes me "roll" with him, and it's very funny.
Wasting: time at night. i am pretty hooked on the game 'where's my water' on my ipad. i can't stop!
Sewing: tags on clothing.
Wishing: that patrick and i would get married soon. this winter. hint hint! ;) i just wanna call him my husband, that's like the whole reason i want to do it. lol.
Enjoying: a glass of rosenthal wine before dinner after my work's done. while watching mad men.
Waiting: to order my new screen printing press and relocate my work area to this sweet open air spot on our landlord's property. it's gonna be soooo awesome and much more efficient!
Liking: minimalism and simplifying life- less on the to do list, more room for spontaneity.
Wondering: where i'll find the perfect wool for new yoga pants to sell in my shop!
Loving: my body. for real. this is the first time in my life i've begun to really accept my body and love it for what it is.
Hoping: i'll get all my work done today and not have to work too much this weekend.
Marveling: how powerful attention to breathing is. focusing on deep full breaths, and suddenly i am the most chill person.
Needing: to do a nice long relaxing yoga session today. probably on yogaglo.
Smelling: my lust solid perfume by LUSH.
Wearing: magenta purusha leggings, one of patrick's t-shirts, and a purusha hoodie :)
Following: the same 2 routes everyday on liam and i's walks and runs.
Noticing: there's a tree in our yard that acts just like new england trees. it's changing color and leaves are falling.
Knowing: that if i refuse to give up, my dreams will come true.
Thinking: of how much i have to do today. and how exciting it is to mail out orders to people. it's like being santa.
Bookmarking: the only place i could find iron & wine's live itunes exclusive EP on the internet. the version of sodom, sotuh georgia on there is the most romantically sad song i've ever heard. {http://grooveshark.com/#!/album/Live+Session+iTunes+Exclusive+EP/7067586}
Opening: my mind up to be less reactive. so not to think in habitual ways, but take each new experience for what it is- new. and it requires a new reaction.
Giggling: about how liam finds himself in weird places in the house from time to time. trapped under the kitchen table, or stuck between the piano bench and the piano. he just stands there until we solve it for him!
Feeling: grateful. so grateful. my life is really beautiful and love filled. it seems to just get better and better. 

wool! {and a little hemp too!}

maybe it's ireland that's lingering in my veins, but i am kinda fascinated and thrilled by the idea of wool right now. no not itchy bulky wool, but organic superfine merino wool and shetland wool, with perhaps a touch of spandex. {i might be addicted to spandex.}

a lot of people will ask me, 'what fabric is the most earth and people friendly?' and the answer is pretty complicated. when we humans create something, a product, there is always a foot print. organic cotton requires massive amounts of water from countries where people are starving, bamboo and tencel and modal require chemicals to dissolve the wood pulp, and nylon is non-biodegradable and produces dangerous greenhouse gases. not to mention all these fibers require petroleum to be processed into their fabric form. 

hemp is one fabric that is really environmentally friendly, but the fabric is a bit stiff and doesn't hold vivid colors well unless blended with other fibers. i would actually love to use hemp, but i feel like brighter colors and super soft fabrics are a key ingredient in yoga/lounge clothing. what do you think? are you down with the hemp? :) i just orderd some hemp blend swatches, so we'll see what happens! {perhaps a hemp blog post in the near future. hehe!}

but for now, back to wool. some facts : wool requires no petroleum for production or finishing. it's biodegradable {can return to the earth and decompose quickly}, sheep herds on grassland can provide nutrients to soil, fibers are sustainable as sheep are shorn annually, and if you are buying organic wool there are no synthetic pesticides being used on the pasture lands. plus, wool is the ultimate wicking fabric- the fibers 'breathe' by pushing away moisture from the body and releasing it into the air, it's wrinkle resistant, it's colorful as it absorbs dye easily with no chemicals, and it has great temperature control- keeping you warm in cold temps and cool in warm temps. 

and a big deal for the long term wear of the garment- the fibers are so soft. we all want to do our part to buy consciously and support brands we believe in, but i think #1 you have to be in love with the product itself. for me that means it's gotta be super soft, stylish without being overly trendy, and did i mention super soft? for real though, i notice myself putting on what i find most comfortable against my skin, and these are the pieces i hang on to over time. they don't get donated to goodwill. 

so i'm on the hunt for some awesome wools. the perfect wools for t-shirts and lounge/yoga pants. preferably i would like to find some rare breed sheep wools {a lot of sheep have become endangered as we are using less kinds of sheep for wool production. by bringing back rare breeds, we allow for diversity and therefore ecological resilience.}, but as a small clothing company, i have to start with what i can and hope for these bigger better things when the time and money allows.

i'll keep y'all posted on the wool progress, and post as i test out some fabrics and some designs! xo!

my new #1 dream.

hello my dear friends! how are you?! oh my gosh, i've missed you! i've missed sharing my thoughts, creating, imagining, dreaming, and even working. last week i was in dublin, ireland with my parents {i'll be posting a merry little blog about it this week!} for a very relaxing vacation. let me tell you, i really needed a break. isn't it just so healthy to take time away from your everyday life? and open yourself up to new surroundings, new people, and a new state of mind? i can honestly say i didn't think about clothing, designs, or business once while on my trip. in american culture where we are driven very intensely by work, it is such a sweet surrender to fully be present in a new environment, and let go of any stresses or thoughts of money and business.

which leads me to my new perspective on life! seriously, this is a BIG change for me. i've decided to reorder my priorities. money and work are no longer my #1 concern in life. it's kinda funny writing that out, because i don't think i even realized that i allowed these things to take precedence over everything else. my new #1 is no stress, just love. when i was in ireland i had zero stress. i mean, that's easy to do when you're not working and exploring a foreign country, but i think it took me going away to understand that feeling stress free is enlightening. and possible. living well is for the present moment, not for some distant time in the future when all the work is done, ya know?

i'm not going to be afraid or feel guilty about living a life of relaxation and ease. of course i will still work hard on purusha, but i'm not going to let anything about it stress me out. what's the point in living each day with unnecessary struggles and strife? this morning a few bumps in the road came up while i was working- problems with opening a business bank account, and perhaps a missing check in the mail... and i noticed my adrenalin started rising and my mindset turned to aggression and resistance. in a sick way, my brain kinda got off on it, like it was happy to have it's chemical fix of frustrations, as it usually did. but my vacation mind was just like 'hellll no. let's no go there. i like being chill.' so i didn't. i did some yoga and breathed it out.

it's unrealistic i know to think you can keep the 'on a vacation' goggles on, with life always handing you lemons and lost checks and plenty of work looming. but i don't want my body and mind to be a victim to living. i want the way i live to nourish me, taking enough time everyday to be present and just enjoy. and not feel like work is how i should be spending much of my life. as long as i can pay my bills and live a modestly delicious life, i'll be happy. i'm not letting go of big dreams for purusha, but at the same time i feel this releasing of my desire for more. like, i'm ok with what the universe gives me. finding peace today is my #1 dream.

i have everything i need right here, and all i have to do is relax into it and find i can go on a vacation in my mind for a moment anytime i like.