my handwriting is really shitty
Every now and then I let my mistakes cloud my current opportunities. I just moved into a little office here on the property we rent. I was really scared to do it, almost scared to grow. Because last time I went out on a limb and moved into my own space it failed. Remember I was renting that work space? The pretty exposed brick wood floor sewing studio? It was kinda a big failure. And I'm still trying to let it go, and visualize that picture that gets passed around. You know, the one with the up and down and backwards line that is success, rather than the straight up line.
I had to try out one of my dreams. I had to try to create that merry little factory I always spoke about. I see now that these "merry little factories" somewhat exist in Los Angeles. They're actually everywhere. People are happy, they work hard. I'm glad and grateful to pay them fairly to make my clothing. I'm not a seamstress or a manager of a sew house, I'm a clothing designer. You cannot do it all. God, I'm finally realizing this. All I can be is me. I will not be a "perfect" being. I'll be the creatively weird, introverted, loyal, over thinking work in progress. I enjoy making clothes and creating Purusha People. Always trying to grow, but yes sometimes frustrated that I must grow so 'effin slow! Ah! Hopefully this means I'll live a long and full life where I never stop trying to find joy in sharing myself with the world.