rewriting.

Hi! It's been awhile. Time has gone by so quickly recently, don't you think? Our "puppy" Byron turns 1 in a week- where did the past year go?! And with the holidays coming up... man! It will be January in a few breaths!

I've really been watching myself become myself as of late. It's kinda a rough ride, this discovering who you are and allowing yourself to be it. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (and hopefully wiser!), but I've been taking my time with my thoughts and I haven't really wanted to share them all with the world (ie this lil' blog I guess). It's felt really good to have sort of a private life, life pre-internet like. Almost hard to remember huh! But such a big outlet for me for years has been this blog. And I feel a little sad it's been sort of abandoned. I'm nostalgic, and afraid I'll regret quitting documenting my life in my 20's and now 30's.

Like most people, I have some thoughts, and I suppose realizations, that are not all things are share-able. Or you share these things with people you know and love only. Not that I don't love you that is reading this, but it's nice to reserve some parts of yourself for yourself. It feels healthy to not "put on a show", something that feels inevitable with social media. You end up sharing only the pretty and good stuff and act like your life is just the best. I don't feel like branding Hayley's life anymore.

I've been rewriting my story of who I think I am. I sure hope this is a permanent position for me, but in accepting myself, my jealousy of other's lives has almost completely diminished. That has been a struggle of mine, to not compete and want what others have and think it will be good for me. I'm seeing I am suited for the things I do each day because of my differences. My "flaws" and ugly/dorky/boring stuff are what have put me on my path. And I am growing to love the path I chose. So I have to love all of me, and be it 100%. It's brought me this far.

Maybe I'll feel inspired to blog more again someday. I should probably have a Purusha blog that features clothes and yoga and stuff, but I'm thinking I might make that into a newsletter. We'll see. Til next time... ? x.