clean thinking {and dirty feet}.


some days feel like i am unlocking a secret door into the mystery of my existence. how to live seems clear, and i see it is only me and my habitual thought patterns and actions that get in my own way.

i think we all want to know the answer to the same question- how can i live the best possible life? our answers of course will be very different, but the goal is the same- the be at peace (most of the time), feel healthy, and experience as much happiness as possible.

what leaves me feeling unpeaceful? worrying about the future (this is the biggest habitual thought pattern i have), fearing people i love dying, and dreading doing what is new and different. 

what makes me feel peaceful? creating clothing/art that reflects who i am, being silly, hugging liam, letting go of the need to control and trusting i will survive whatever happens to me, and breathing deep.

so why so often do i reflect on those unpeaceful thoughts? my mind has formed habits that my daily activities mirror back to it. it's truly the simplest sounding thing, to change the way you think, but the absolute hardest thing to do. probably the hardest thing i'll ever attempt to do. to lasso those thoughts, heck even notice them in the first place, is such an enormous challenge! 

but i have to try. i have to try harder. my entire life's success depends on it. i know i can be a better friend, a better mate, a better clothing designer if i am able to live with a cleaner mind. there's such a thing now as 'clean eating', and i'm realizing there's also such a thing as 'clean thinking'. i wouldn't pollute my body with cakes and french fries all day, why am i allowing myself to pollute my body with negative fearful thoughts? 

i have little glimpses throughout the day of real surrender to being open, to allowing my life to unfold on its own, without my thoughts over analyzing and trying to choke out the thoughts of possibility of things just working out for the best. in these moments i feel limitless, clairvoyant, and boundlessly creative. i feel like i can love without wanting to possess and own what i love, and create purusha as the most pure reflection of who i am. i think that one of the neatest side effects of positive thinking is the ability to create without competing, and just allow all that flows out of you to be the simplest extension of what you imagine and love. and then after creating, just let it go, and not worry about how people respond, and not get hung up on yourself because you created something beautiful. uh huh! i want more moments like these.

so it seems that the only way for an abundance of pure love and creativity to exist is to think clean. today i am doing my very best to keep a clean mind. namaste.

{photos taken at the greatest park ever in calabasas! it's an oasis in the desert of green grass, running water, a doggie bowl, the cleanest public bathroom i've ever seen, a chuck it and dog tennis balls that no one steals?! it's the best!}


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