i've done it.

entire outfit thrifted from hidden treasures topanga {laying in our loft where i keep fabrics and stuff! a place of dreams!}

i quit facebook. i almost can't believe it. last night, though, i just had this epiphany that facebook does more harm than good for me. {of course the purusha facebook page will remain. i got rid of my personal page only.} this is embarrassing to say, and i feel like, eh, a bit of a loser, but today i've experienced withdrawals. like, i click facebook on my bookmarks without even thinking about it, just looking for my fix. last night patrick and i had a very therapeutic talk about my life, my fears, and my goals. my activities on facebook keep me from my dreams. how sad is that? 

hi my name is hayley, and i am a facebook-aholic. i even tried to set up these blockers that only allowed me on facebook for allotted amounts of time, and i found myself just about always going back in and lengthening my time and leaving it there. so it was like an alcoholic saying, i can have alcohol in the house, i'll just lock it in the closet so i can't get it... and yet i kept unlocking it and betraying myself. the trouble with facebook is, that being super engaged and addicted is totally socially acceptable.  i know i am in no shape or form alone in my struggle. i really didn't even know it was such a problem until today without it, seeing how much freaking time i have. time. the most precious thing that social media was quietly stealing from me. it's crazy.

last night patrick and i made a list of facebook pros and cons. pros : stay in touch with family, inspiration, meet new people. cons : distracting, makes me anti-social in real life, stops my work on my dreams and my business, stops me from reading books, invokes jealousy over other's lives {not their real lives, the lives they present on the internet}, and damages my health from making me sit on my ass. the con 'taking time away from my dreams' made me want to cry. just... i can't believe i let this happen to me. another sad thing it did to me was, it made me lonely. i filled my need to socialize on facebook, or i falsely did, while my real life relationships fell to the wayside. we need real physical people. internet relationships don't do it. we need so much more.

i want more, more of what's real. in an age where we share and over share {and here i am sharing on my blog. ah!}, i feel this aching for real life, removed from technology, taking a hold of my gut more and more. i want to make music with patrick, travel more, make more friends, read more, take better care of myself... and i have this feeling all of this awaits me when i close my laptop. it's time to reevaluate and relearn how to live, and hold on to what's sacred and simple in our technological age. i'm ready.

namaste.