don't fear what's dark.

isn't this such a pretty hike liam and i get to go on? it's right down the street from my house, and it's just beautiful. the other day we hiked it, and i should have been happy and upbeat, it was a gorgeous day... but some days it just seems your mind gets drawn to the dark side. in a way, i think it's healthy to go there, and not be afraid of it. because once you go inside what's dark you see you have to accept it all in order to be here on this planet. it can't be all good, all positivity, all sunshine all the time. the earth exists because of balance- dark and light, high tide and low tide, full moon and new moon, happiness and sadness. there will always be the opposite.

one thing i was really getting down about was liam's ever fading vision. sometimes i just shortly dwell on how much he's changed in even the last year as his vision declines. {liam has PRA, a genetic degenerative eye disease that usually is a slow progression to blindness.} like, walking up steps and me directing him up steps now is a big accomplishment. after our teamwork getting up those stairs on the trail we celebrate! with yay! go puppy boy! good work! and silly/trite as it is, i feel bad we are celebrating going up stairs, when a year or 2 ago liam was jumping off rocks to fetch sticks in water. no way could he find a stick now.

after a little battling with myself about feeling sad {you know, thinking it could always be worse, these are 1st world problems, we don't have cancer, etc etc}, i decided to stop fighting it and just let my mind go there. it's ok to give things that are sad your sadness. why belittle what's so blatantly getting you down? i let my mind go back to when liam could see, and compared him to now, and just watched my mind rewind itself to memories of the past 8 years together... i came to the realization, or the remembrance, that to love someone is to love all of them. not only the parts of them that are beautiful and easy, but also what's wrong and broken. because what's broken in liam, his eyes, has been programmed within him his whole life. this is who liam is. without liam's blindness {i often don't even want to put those words together- liam and blindness. like if i speak it, all his vision will be gone. not just 70%.}, i wouldn't have this love bug that likes to sleep in with me, listens and tilts his head with more attention than anyone's ever given me in their life {!}, wags his tail when he hears me laugh, loves showing off his big bone, and well i could just go on and on. i love everything about liam, therefore i have to love his damaged eyes.  and with this disability we have grown SO close {probably too close! lol.}, and we communicate so intuitively with each other, it's kinda magical. 

don't fear what's dark. more and more i've come to find understanding and peace within this giant spectrum of existence. it's all a part of being alive. ha, come to think of it, without the ultimate darkness- death- we wouldn't have life. this whole shebang is a giant paradox, and we each contain what's dark and what's light. 

may we continue to have the courage to face all of it, and never stop loving the journey. namaste.