patrick, liam, and i took a nice little mid day stroll down to the river today. i love living close to the water, even if there is a terribly stinky sewage treatment plant nearby (collinsville city planners- wtf were you thinking!!). patrick calls this place 'the poop factory', and man i am immature 'cause every time i hear 'poop factory' i laugh stupidly hard. today the poop factory's stench was at about a 5.
anywho, we all had lot of smiles and laughs! i can't not be happy around these dudes!
i feel like the people (and animals!) in my life are such gifts. i almost can't believe they're mine. not like these living things are my possessions of course; but more like they're mine because they're something i've created and nurtured to want to stay near me.
i never want to exit this place of love, and i know i will never get tired or bored of what i have. waking up with my 2 best friends is like christmas morning every single day. our lives and loves are so precious aren't they?
side note, this iphone camera is not even fair. every picture looks awesome and there are no photography skills involved whatsoever. instagram ap, i like you a lot.
hope you are having a pleasant day, and i send you that are reading a piece of love from my heart to yours!
i love scents. the nostalgia, the memories, the places in the world they conjure up... i can't get enough. i used to love buying different perfumes to sort of signify the phases of my life. when i wanted to feel like something or someone else, i'd choose a new scent that brought me to that place. i loved CK truth, ralph lauren romance, bvlgari, etc.... but now as i've become more of a "natural" person, i kinda think artificial perfumes stink... like i feel like they stink like a bitchy girl... not that all women that wear perfumes are bitches of course (i still have a perfume called 'flaming june' that i adore); but man, some artificial perfumes just smell like ass!
in the past few years i've come to love essential oils. i love how they smell true, like the real thing. what i don't love is how quickly the scent disappears. so what i've been working on is creating all natural essential oil based perfumes that last. and i'm beginning to find some success! it's a lot of fun too, like my little hobby outside of making clothes. the aromas relax me at the end of the day and i always really look forward to mixing new scents.
what i'm creating is purusha perfume! i'm going to start with one signature scent, and then go from there and perhaps create more unique scents. for the original perfume i'm mixing together all my favorite smells (many of them pictured above). i've finished my first prototype, and i am kinda in love with the smell. it's earthy and warm and sweet, yet slightly floral and herbal. i can't wait to share it with you!
once i have the perfume perfected i will be selling it on etsy, and on my new website that is coming out in about a month!!! i am super pumped!! i really hope you all love it too.
lots of good things on the horizon for purusha. thank you all so much for your support and love and care. i couldn't do anything without you! love you all.
i am loving monday this week; new beginnings, a fresh start, and i feel good! it might be in part because i had a totally fun and relaxing weekend. i hope you did too!
this weekend i went hiking in the berkshires with my guys. it was beautiful.
first we headed down to bash bish falls and soaked in the dewy air and the soothing white noise.
liam was in heaven, running and hiking around, fetching sticks and smiling at everyone. :)
the hike was long!! well, compared to hikes in connecticut, it was long... but seriously climbing mount washington felt like we were mice in a maze... patrick and i kept thinking we were almost at the top as the trail would level out, but then we would walk for another mile and next climb a steeper part again and again. it was a great mental and physical challenge!
liam loved every minute of it!
pat and i laugh so much at this picture! at first you don't notice liam in the corner- and suddenly there he is!- looking odd and biting his lip, the little creeper!
after about 2 1/2 hours we made it to the top! the first thing patrick said was, 'huh. this view is anticlimactic'. haha! it kinda is! for how long and far we hiked it should have been more dramatic. oh well! we still savored the scenery and the brilliant sunshine!
liam told us jokes ;) .
we took off our shoes, and it felt GOOD! my feet are having some issues right now, as you can see.
we laid in the sunshine, drank some wine and a smoothie and ate some raw food bars- yum! liam shared in the bounty, as always.
look at this clown.
my funny love bugs!
i adore this star.
liam and i in the mouse maze!
~
i am beyond blessed and lucky. this autumn i'm strongly feeling the abundance of goodness, warmth, love, and growth in my life.
wishing you a monday of renewal, loving hugs and gestures, positivity, and brilliant warm sunlight!
this was the last dandelion i found in a field today.
ah, lessons. they never stop do they? we grow older and older yet there's always more and more to learn.
today i've found, no matter how smart or hip or evolved i think i've become, there's always more improvement, more evolution, more humility to be found. the growing never ends... as much as i wish it would sometimes!
i can't ever stop watching myself, checking myself, making sure what i'm doing and saying isn't reactive and automated.
being in a relationship is really challenging at times, we all know this. but i truly think it's worth it, because your mate is pretty much the only person who can point out your shitiness without directly insulting your ego.
that ego! man, it's tricky. it's like.. 'hey girl, i'm gone, you're acting out of purity and kindness.' but, wait ego, no you're still here, telling me what to think. it'll lie to you. yep, it will!
anyways, your life partner or best friend can convey that you've done something problematic with just a change in atmosphere, a change in body language and in tone of voice; such a delicate change that only someone close to him or her can sense it.
today i said some things to my mate that left a stagnant and blocked feeling in the room. he had a vacant look in his face and got quiet. i immediately knew i caused this. damn, to be the cause of someone you love's stress- one of the worst feelings in the world. within 30 minutes i felt bad and apologized, unraveled, and released.
this is why we need people to be close to us- to understand our own programming. i tell myself pretty much daily to CONTROL, MAKE TIDY, PERFECT, HOLD ON! i don't see how this affects me and others until it directly effects my daily life. and today it did. i felt guilty and responsible for another, an another i love's, pain.
i went on a run with liam after to release some stress i induced from my love's stress. i found myself annoyed that liam kept stopping our run to pee and sniff stuff. i got frustrated and yelled at him a little. we stopped at one of our favorite spots for him to jump in the water and fetch some sticks. lucky for me, liam's joy is contagious... then an older man came by, and watched liam jump with all his heart from some rocks to get the stick, and let me tell you, this man laughed and twinkled. he said, "this is just what it's like to be a kid again."
that old man and his words stuck with me for the rest of my run. i felt bad for getting short with liam, for his being youthful and exploring. to be a kid again, i don't want to ever forget that we all have within us what it is to be a kid again, to soak up information and use it to grow.
the things i tell myself daily- that i need to be perfect, that i must do everything just right, that i have to have some form of hidden control over things, that i need to accomplish certain events everyday to be happy- these mantras are not true!
these notions are lies, invented by my ego to cope with things in my past. they don't hold weight anymore. i'm lucky i have supportive people in my life to love me even when i'm living in a conspiracy theory; and better yet, to point out to me that i'm living in a drama of my own creation!
today, i am slowing letting go. no, it's not easy. it's rough and the progress is slow. but, you know what- that's ok. no one is perfect and i don't want to be perfect. it's boring and not creative. so there, ego! i don't want your rules!
i took a class by elena brower tonight on yogaglo.com and was reminded- our breath can nurture us, sometimes more than anything else. i'm breathing so deeply right now, breathing into the parts of myself that are clenched and caught up on perfection. i know that cultivating compassion for myself is the only way i can ever dream of having true compassion for anyone else.
i am still a child. i have so much to learn about myself and about the world. and i'm nurtured by this truth. it is a humiliating truth in a way, and it brings me right back to my roots here on the earth as an organic animal being.
the photo i took above is of the last flower that grew in a field by my house. as i picked it- and it's not even a flower! it's a weed!- i felt within myself a letting go of summer, a release of obvious beauty and perfection. things are about to get ugly and cold around here in connecticut, and this is the cycle of life. nothing is eternally a blossom, everything must die to support future life.
tonight, i don't grieve the death of certain parts of me; but rather i celebrate the space that absence has created for the birth of better things to come... things i haven't even imagined or dreamed of yet...
my sweet friend sarah anne posted this song today, and it was love and release at first listen!
