who am i missing?

good morning!

this morning after my ritual of reflecting over my business, i almost feel a little shameful. and discriminatory. no good. i've realized (oh god, duh!) i've been a bad business owner. but that's all about to change. i've neglected people when the core of my business is my love of the customer. i've ignorantly forgotten we are all not the same size and shape. this has been a complaint of the fashion industry since its beginning- we are all not a size 0!! it is time, finally, to listen to this powerful fact. like it or not clothing brands, the reality is plus size people want to wear your clothing and they can't. soooo many beautiful voluptuous women want to practice yoga and feel beautiful and true to themselves while doing it. they want to exercise, take care of themselves, and look hot, just like anyone else. so why discriminate? why not make their size? it's really kinda mind boggling to ignore your customers. purusha people is coming out with a 'plus size' line for spring 2013. and it's gonna be amazing. i'm excited! AND i'm going to be working on a men's yoga/work out wear line for 2013 as well. no one should be left out. purusha is inclusivity. i almost felt like i was 80% sure about my business, but something was missing. someone was missing. now i know. and i feel 100%. :)

cold calls.

you guys. this morning i began doing what i've been a little scared of doing- calling stores and speaking to buyers. after a few stutters and awkward word phrasing on the first call, i relaxed a bit. the funny thing i always learn is, most people are nice and want you to succeed too! phew! my plan is to move purusha people from being just online to at stores too! and really cool stores, i've been scoping it out :).

so i have to send samples to some places for spring 2013. please let me know if you have any favorite items you think i should send! i feel really torn, especially because i'm coming out with a new collection in about a month, and like those items so much too... really any input is totally helpful. you all have great taste and know what you want, so feel free to give me any advice!

thank you my dears!! today i feel good. i didn't feel like the calls were cold either. they were actually really warm. xo.

nostalgia sets in.

photo i took from fall 2007 at great pond, CT

something about not being in new england for fall this year is making me very emotional. it could also be that it's that time of the month. i dunno. but i feel soooo nostalgic, and just wishy washy. i cried to patrick a little this morning about the fact that we can't move backwards in time. those moments that i didn't even realize were special are gone, only alive in a coma in my memories. rational patrick helps a bit, telling me that, like most people, i have survivor ship bias, or i am only choosing to remember the good and forget all the bad. 

yes, this seems to be true, but i still feel a little sad. i miss when patrick and i first met in the spring of 2007 in simsbury, ct. we both lived at home, i didn't have a job. my only job was to spend time with patrick and fall in love. and paint pictures. and write poems in my childhood bedroom. i told patrick that i missed those carefree days, and ha, patrick said, "we were ignorant, we didn't know we were adults that should have been working and not living at home. you were 23!", and "didn't you long for more though?". all true, but i really needed that time to figure out what i wanted to do with my precious time. 

patrick and i, that summer and fall of 2007, we just rode bikes, ate food together, went on hikes, and learned about who we were. it was so sacred. i tear up to think we can't ever go hang out in patrick's room again (his family doesn't live there anymore), and we can't ride down his road at night and look at all the fireflies. that time is gone. 

and then when we moved in together 2 years later in collinsville, ct. i find myself missing that too. we were both working more then, but still, we had this safety there, this feeling like we were still young and free. our families were nearby, lots of friends down the street, and plenty of time to spend exploring life together. again, patrick just told me "that house was dark, you wanted to move and try something different, and we knew we couldn't stay some place because it was easy." yes, pat, right again. maybe another day i will be so rational. but not today.

the funny/crazy/stupid thing is, i fully know someday i will look back at our time here in topanga and think... i wish i could go back. to when things were simpler. time is a concept none of us trapped in existence bound by time can understand. all i can understand are my feelings of attachment to moments gone by... and try in this moment to be hugely grateful that those people in the memories i miss are still here with me, safe and sound. 

we have to move forward, life is change. i'm not sure though i will ever be able to think back without a few tears mourning what was and can never be again. but that's natural right? i have a feeling i will be a weepy old woman someday, crying when i'm happy, sad, nostalgic... if i can't understand time, at least i can feel it. i can feel it.

i'll drive.

last night (or this morning) i kept having a repetitive dream. i'd wake for a bit and then go right back in it. why does this only happen in the stupid and scary dreams? in the dream i was in a hurry and driving through burlington, VT somehow mixed with the scenery of canton and simsbury, CT. typical, 'some nights' by fun was playing on the radio. the main thing i remember from the dream was being in the driver's seat, and then getting scared and pulling myself over to the passenger seat. but then i would be even more scared because i wasn't controlling the car, just watching it begin to swerve into the other lane. so i jumped back over to the driver seat and drove for a bit, then got scared again that i wasn't a good driver and dove into the passenger seat. over and over. trapped in a crazy roller coaster car ride blasting that increasingly annoying song. this dream seemed so silly in the brief moments i woke up to roll over in bed, but now as i think about it, it's very meaningful for me. often i tell myself habitual stories of fear and worry and i feel like i can't be a leader. but then the thought of being a follower, a mere passenger while no one is driving is about a 1000 times more unsettling. i posted a photo on my purusha facebook page last night that said, "decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it". maybe this conjured up my dream. it can be frightening to face the fears that come up when you make moves toward your goals. but truly i know that those tiny fears don't feel nearly as bad as regret, or dissatisfaction with yourself for letting the coward take the wheel. and, fear is natural. there is nothing wrong with a little fear. driving is dangerous, and we have to be cautious. but the point of life, and my dream, is to get real comfortable with what scares you. it is the only way to happiness. today i'm thinking i would much rather be in the driver seat and realize the strong, passionate, brave woman that i am! namaste.

less is more.

with how easy it is to be busy and accumulate possessions and thoughts and to do lists, often i have to remind myself less is more. simplicity is a magic wand that causes worries and clutter of the mind and the body to disappear. we don't need more. we have enough. the day needs less busyness and more moments of space and deep breaths and hugs. i don't need to run so hard, work myself silly, or let my mind's thoughts cloudy up the sunshine of my brain. we need less. namaste.

a purusha person.

this long weekend has been really a nice time to think about purusha, and how i envision the brand. {i'm going to hold off on my kickstarter launch for a bit until i have a few things sorted out!}

i adore asking the question: WHO is a purusha person? over time my definition will change, but right now because i am mainly targetting 21-50 year old women (give or take), a purusha person is a woman. not just any woman though. she is, above all, kind. and from her kindness comes beauty. she is savoir faire (in love with this term), or adaptable and adroit, knowing what to do in any situation. especially the current situation of our time. now is the moment for awareness and compassion. a purusha woman is aware of the world around her, and the effect she has on the planet. yet she isn't preachy, but simply lives by example. she cares about what she supports with her dollar; because she worked really hard for it, and because she believes in freedom and happiness as a universe-given right. a purusha woman loves being current, be it fashion or food or architecture, but again not at the expense of other beings. she loves her family, spends time everyday in nature, is inspired by the beach and the mountains, dreams of travelling to far off places, and takes pride in her body and mind by exercising, meditating, and practicing yoga. our woman is fully well rounded- intelligent, curious, sensual, lovely, funny, non-dramatic, creative, humble, and shares her love with each person she meets.

i love this lady! and lucky me, she is my customer. no wonder my buyers become my friends and are some of the sweetest people i've met! thank for inspiring me to make clothing worthy of you. namaste.

very exciting.

hi my dears!

so after a lot of thought, chatting with liam and patrick, and pouring over similar projects, i've decided i'm going to launch a kickstarter campaign!!! what!??! i am pumped!

if you don't know what kickstarter is check out the link above. it's pretty fantastic. and inspiring. so many creative businesses on there have grown with the help of interesting, generous, and amazing investors.

i'm going to put together my video this long weekend and hopefully have it up by next week sometime. so much fun! i will be sure to keep you all posted on the progress.

hope your day is just delightful! xo.

sometimes i get so frustrated.

good evening my friends! hope you're having a really nice happy night.

just need a moment to vent here. i love my friends and family that view politics differently than me, but man, it is beyond crazy when people don't listen to facts. it's like some people have become so attached to their political party that they can't think for themselves. i believe there are a lot of flaws with the party system right now, and i am for sure no expert in politics, but the talking points and rhetoric are just out of control. i saw this image recently and it made me laugh and want to cry at the same time:

because people i love A LOT think like the guy on the left. they have such loyalty to their party. it's sad and it's absolute propaganda. i'm in no way saying the democratic party has it all together, but at least they are progressive in terms of women's rights, care for the poor, legal immigration, and gay rights. right now republicans are just on the wrong side of history. we can't move backwards- people are getting poorer while the rich are growing richer, women want control over their bodies, we are all immigrants!!, and gays are here to stay.

whether or not we are republicans, democrats, green partiers, or whatever, i think pretty much everyone can agree the government is no longer working for the people. i almost feel like we need to eliminate the party system to get people to think for themselves again.

another thing that drives me crazy is when people say "the founding fathers didn't believe in welfare or government programs, they only wanted government to defend the citizens". we are no longer a country of 2.5 million in 1776, we are a very different country of 300 million in 2012. we must evolve, find new solutions. we have problems now that we've never had before. taking old colonial solutions for modern day american issues just is not going to work.

i don't really know what needs to happen next. i hope we can continue to grow as a country together. and i hope fox news goes off the air. haha, which it won't. but seriously, don't watch the news on TV.

good night!

good.

the past couple mornings i've been listening to this hypnosis... self esteem and calming exercises mainly. for 30 minutes i just lay there and listen and try not to think of anything else but the positive words being spoken. yesterday was easy and i sank deeply into relaxation. i came out feeling cleansed, happy, and confident about my life. i felt more in the moment throughout my day. today though, for some reason, my mind kept going elsewhere. but the big thing is, i noticed. that's huge. i mean, so what if sometimes the mind is thinking about lots of things? it's what the mind does. you just have to be aware of it and keep trying to bring the mind back to the moment. not everyday is the same, i am not a robot. in a way, it's a greater advancement in meditation to have lots of thoughts and to keep bringing yourself back. it teaches you how to be gentle with yourself and how to simply notice where you're at. as long as we keep practicing everyday, it's all good. it's all good my friends.

most nights.

i felt like i had to post a 'most nights' after depicting 'most mornings' last week. so here it is. ha, looks A LOT like most mornings. bed, dog, minus the drinks. and well, drinks like that most definitely don't happen most nights, but they did last night. we spent the day walking around santa monica, checking out shops and restaurants. i found 2 places i will be stalking and planning to get purusha in ASAP. so many cute little boutiques. we hung out around main st.; i kinda like that area more than the promenade, there are more unique stores. we drank tea and had perfect macaroni and cheese, picked up a joan didion book at a sweet used book/record store, had drinks at happy hour, and ate some amazing new york-ish pizza. (yes, the doggie shared in all the goodness. and peed on a lot of street posts. and smiled.) patrick, liam, and i came home last night happy and tired, and watched the shining. i did a little work making my game plan for this week, and then we all lay down together in heavenly peace. the end. :) 

necessary changes. and happy weekend!

happy friday! how are you?

the past few days i've been giving a lot of thought to some of the standards of clothing in the fashion industry (as usual!).. heheh... 

and what i've been thinking is, i hate american size labeling as small, medium, and large. why do we need some tag telling us what size we are?! yea, i may be small compared to some, but then i'm bigger compared to others. it's all relative. so with my new designs on the website, sizes are 0-5. much better, i think.

see my size chart here.

and see the rest of my website here! 

purusha's fall and winter 2012 collection, starry eyed, is now available for pre-sale purchase! everything is super high quality, super lovely, and totally made with love and care right here in los angeles. garments won't be ready for shipment until mid-september, but there's no harm in reserving your clothing now! you'll be first in line :) 

hope your weekend is such a peaceful blessed one. much love to you!