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we only have today.

hello all. how are ya?

today patrick and i were planning on going to the beach- watch hill, ri- one of my favorite places in the world!

we were looking at the weather and it said 'mostly cloudy' so we were like... hmmm should we go or should we not?

this morning, pat and i woke up a little later than planned, but still wanted to beach it up! however, i had to get an oil change first. so i headed to the collinsville quick lube- and it was closed. unsure why... so i went to advanced auto in canton. it was kinda pricey for no reason, whatevs, and i went to pay with my debit card. my debit card was declined!

first of all- always embarrassing to get your card rejected, and second i know i have $$! so wtf man?! (i was also feeling kinda embarrassed cause my car has sooo much dog hair in it- oops, but this was forgotten as my card was swiped 3 times to be declined over and over.)

i called my bank and found i had -$75!!! what?! i went home, long story short, learned someone hacked into my card and spent around $600 on truphone, adt, etc. i cried and felt pissed and violated. and i'm mad 'cause i'm going to california tomorrow with no debit card or $... so i gotta figure that out. : /

pat and i decided maybe today wasn't the best beach day and i didn't want to go with no $, so we decided stay-cation we would. honestly, it doesn't even matter where we go, i am so happy and peaceful just to be around patrick and liam.

so the 3 of us went to petco to get liam his favorite yoghund frozen yogurt, then we got some decent red wine. hehe we are like poor ghetto people. we poured the red wine in a water bottle in the car and drank some on the way to whole foods. tiny dancer came on the radio and we turned it up loud while passing the red in the water bottle back and forth. pat and i laughed as we thought- this is our vacation day together. declined cards, wine in a water bottle, and shitty music on the radio. at whole foods we ate a tasty lunch and i'm happy to say patrick has become a kale convert- he loves it- so that's a plus.

pat and i bought some food to make for dinner tonight, then on the way home i stopped in the bank to get a new card and last i popped into bed bath and beyond to buy some vacuum cleaner bags to clean our hairy house and my furry car. now this is living!

haha, and i must go now as we are going to do take a dip in the reservoir and throw some sticks for liam to fetch in the still waters.

no pics for today :( sorry. thought that was kinda ironic too, that this semi-crap day is undocumented visually.

lesson for today: plans change, we must roll with it. nothing is perfect and shit happens. and that's ok, as long as we are safe, well fed, and surrounded with unconditional love.

amidst a little bad luck, the sun is shining and i can always crawl into my love's warm arms.

EDIT: we just got back from the reservoir. we left our sunny backyard to drive into huge grey clouds at the res, and wouldn't you know as soon as we left, for patrick to go to work, the sun came out. some days that's just how it is.

on the way home, we laughed. we're laughing about it already ;).

2

monday meditation.

so much of my life has been trying to hold on, tight. controlling, planning, expecting... those were my rules. approval from others and being loved and admired were the most important things in my life.

that was my shortlived, unfulfilled, and unsatisfied journey outward.

about 5 years ago i decided i was tired of not feeling good.

life is for living and for feeling GOOD, not for regrets and bad moods. it's too short of a time here to not feel the embodiment of love and light as often as we can.

so now i'm on a journey inward.

this journey never ends and there is no destination.

i can't and i won't be concerned with results, expectations, and appearances. i vow to do everything for it's own sake not matter what the outcome. if i am doing good things and trying my best, the effects will come out exactly as they should. as long as i say focused on my awareness, my intention; and on love, laughter, and acceptance life will continue to grow rich like a fine wine.

it's funny- you think there's so much for you out there in the world.

i mean, there is! but the planet is like an untapped resource until we go within, and find the billions of light years deep paths leading to our source. how can we even know how to maintain the planet and its beings, touch and effect others, spread our passions and talents if we haven't even learned how to love and respect our SELVES?

and your SELF is the same as myself. we are all stardust manifested into this lucky and holy evolution of consciousness. this, to me, is more beautiful and deep than any religious dogma or church could ever be.

i am sure the entrance to the roads of the world is within my own soul.

i once tried to get to the top of the earth's mountain by climbing steep rocky cliffs with no ropes.

i've found a trail head within myself, and i'm not even sure now that there's a peak to the mountain. but i know this path is the only way up to joy.

so today, i am making the promise to myself to stay on my heart's path wherever it may lead. i trust in myself and in the power of my own mind to do good, feel good, and be good. namaste.

p.s. this tank top is for SALE in my shop.... ;)

i leave you with a favorite old coldplay tune:

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dogs.

happy weekend!

here are some funny dog pics for you.

liam and my parent's doggie hoochie.

my blog this week has kinda been taken over by dogs. what can i say, i love dogs and i love to laugh. enjoy.

hehe liam's blinking

and i love this song too.

wishing you lots of peace and relaxation this weekend! love love love you all!

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the non-attractive post.

oh the rain!

so much rain. and thunder. liam is having a not so good summer with all these storms- poor little guy. he paces and pants, drools and trembles, trailing patrick and i as we work and walk around the house. liam, i swear, becomes more terrified of storms with every clap of thunder. :(

~

i really like looking at 'pretty' blogs. who doesn't, right?! nice clean photos, sharp colorful pictures, they get me every time. this blog post, not going to be one of those pretty pieces. it's grey and dark today, and patrick's not home to take photos of me....

plus i am just sweatshopping it up around here! while i work on purusha i honestly look like crap, not like i make clothes for a living! i wear the ugliest things i own because i end up getting so much dye and paint on myself! i look a little like i live in a trailer:

me in my sister's old marlboro pants and pat's monkees t-shirt

i dress down for work ;).

this is what my life is like today:

making tags for clothes

building new screens which i will put emulsion on tonight! yay for new designs!

finishing up orders to mail out.

holy moly!!!! folding the most laundry i've ever seen!

my little herb garden is happily soaking up the rain drops!

aah. the painting my mom created for me in pat and i's bedroom. always soothes my soul.

my little lesson today is:

there is always something beautiful and joyful to be found in our day. look for it, it's there! amid the rain and grey and everyday work, there's an abundance of time for laughter, love, and moments of reflection :).

may you have a peaceful and accomplished day whatever you do! the light in me bows to the light in you.

2

good boys.

happy summer solstice people! what a gorgeous day to be alive, and how lucky we are to enjoy this abundance of sunshine here in the northern hemisphere! i hope you all have a really special warm day :).

look at these guys. how cute are they?!

liam's wearing patrick's tie, and patrick is wearing his new glasses. awwww!!! i love them.

a few weeks ago we learned that pat's been walking around, driving, reading, etc. pretty much partially blind. whoops. he has an astigmatism in one eye and near sighted in the other eye. yea, i tried the glasses on- not good!

he looks so cute and smart in them doesn't he? here is patrick in the morning working on trades, eating a bagel, drinking tea, and reading.

he got a little mad i was taking so many pictures. heheh....

wanna know something that makes me mad? ;) well not that mad... just kinda, hmmm, annoyed... !

when our living room becomes guitar center. the equipment sometimes just takes over.. AHH! so many guitars!! pat doesn't seem to mind this at all, i don't really like the clutter so much :).

i will leave you with these sweet photos of my baby bunny puppy boy liam in the tie. too cute. he told me he feels mature and sophisticated in a tie.

now i am going back to work while i listen to lenny breau. any lenny breau fans out there, do you also think it's kinda creepy when lenny sings? i always laugh/grimace when i hear it. but what a freaking amazing guitar player. though there are guitar messes throughout the house, i really can't complain as i am introduced to so much awesome music by my baby pat.

later in the day i'm going to take a break and frolic in the afternoon sun. beautiful. sending you brilliant and bright loving thoughts of abundance, energy, and warmth!! xxxx

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monday meditation.

c/o honeytree

hi!

how are you? today, this week too, i am BUSY! too busy for my liking...

you see, i'm going on a family vacation to california late next week! wow, it came up soon! and i have 1,000,000 things to finish before then!

however i'm taking this as an opportunity to let go. i have been trying recently in my life to not care about the results, but rather to just care about the process and work diligently with awareness. it's easier said than done, yet the more i bring my thoughts into alignment with this release, with letting go of my expectations and my plans, the more i find my work to be easy and of better quality.

we've heard this a million times- quality, not quantity, but i seem to forget this a lot. i think if i just work more hours, not necessarily better hours, that i will get more done. not so! not so at all.

i need to work with better concentration and deep deep breaths. patrick was away this weekend for a few days, and rather than miss him (well of course i did a little!), i kept focusing on the quality of our time together, not the quantity. there will always be more precious moments of love and light, and it doesn't really matter how long they last. the depth of those moments, and my ability to be present in them, is what really counts and contributes to my well being.

c/o honeytree

so i will whistle as i work this week, and be sure to take some time for my own pleasures. i may not have enough time to take a whole day off for a little while, and that's ok! a few hours here and there spent with people i love are good enough. more than good enough, these moments are sacred and will not be short changed by impending deadlines and work. these cherished times of love are what i live for. my work, yes it is a good thing too especially when full of mindfulness, will harmoniously balance out my play just the way it should.

today i am cultivating faith in my abilities and my breath, patience that all will get done, and appreciation and gratitude for every holy moment i'm alive- no matter what i'm doing. come to think of it, my whole life lies under the realm of holy, and so does yours.

c/o mary vican

we are alive, what more could we ask for?

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things you like for less $ and a few thoughts.

ooh today's good.

come on by my purusha shop :)

it's nice and warm in there, the sun's shining, and there's a lovely lil SaLe goin' on... i'll be posting more items as the day goes on!

enjoy!

~

today i'm dyeing clothes and playing yoga! playing yoga means i'm making up a little yoga music video to one of my favorite inspirational songs <3 . ha so i think i have to choreograph some parts to make it cool! i'll put it on youtube, emphasis on the 'u' in tube, like my mom says ;) hehe. i'm been wanting to do this for a long time- live out one of my childhood dreams of performing a ridiculous or beautiful (it could go either way) choreographed routine in front of a lot of people. haha im looking forward to it. you'll like it, i promise. i'll keep you posted.

~

i feel like a real purusha person today- living and breathing my discipline, my work, my creativity, my exercise. it feels good.

sometimes though when i'm really dedicating myself to my purpose i feel these small bouts of fear and almost, like, a paralysis. it's odd, i feel like a lot of unexpected and deep emotions turn up from time to time when i'm going for what i want in my life. i suppose part of following dreams is facing fears and charging through my basic "easy" human tendencies- fear and laziness.

man those little buggers can be a bitch! they make me doubt myself, cry a little, feel ill :( . BUT they teach me that life is a bargain, a deal in which we must accept suffering in exchange for joy. the only route to satisfaction in living as a human on earth is doing what is difficult, what you think you don't want to do. then like a miracle, you make it through the challenges with more strength and grace than before. it is so bittersweet, a tough truth that i don't see changing anytime soon.

i think though i am getting kinda used to, finding some comfort that happiness is always waiting around the corner. life has a cyclical nature about it. time balances itself out, and with one dark moment of fear comes a beautiful moment of peace and courage.

does anyone else feel like this?

~

alright now, back to work for me my dears!

oh, and this is a picture i found today i really like...

c/o lexamantis blog

xo.

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how do i wear my purusha?!

good day fellow cosmopolitans! hope you are feeling healthy and happy ! :)

and happy happy full moon to you too!

lingerie tank top: thrifted victoria's secret, tank top underneath: bulldog, leggings: redesigned with 'om shanti' in sanskrit by purusha!, earrings: hotel california, baja (i saw lance bass there!)

i don't know if it's a placebo thing, but from time to time full moons make me feel CRAZY! and not like the good crazy where it's fun and spontaneous- it's the crazy crazy- like i just yelled at a box on the floor for tripping me. i'm kinda feeling on edge- slightly irritable- yes. and the things that are irritating me are things, as in objects! damn, i swear inanimate objects are out to get me today! my mouse on my lap top barely clicks anymore so i have to click like 6 times to get a click out of it, my 4 year old shitty phone doesn't ring sometimes so i'll have voice mails i didn't even know i should check AND it holds a charge for about 12 hours (i'm getting a new one this weekend god dammit!), there is too much liam hair everywhere and it literally takes me hours to tape roll purusha orders (i have to vacuum about once a week, liam is shedding so much! eek, but i still love him, it's all good), i am behind on work because everything always takes longer than i think (but for some reason i can't seem to ever remember that), the sink is full of dirty dishes- again and again, my legs are so freaking sore from one of dice's classes on yogaglo.com, and i can't wait for the day when we don't have to type on computers anymore because i'm the worst typer and just want to tell my computer what to write (does anyone know when this new technology is coming out?). ok longest run on sentence ever there, but it's just how i feel today. thank you for listening to me vent! sometimes all it takes to relieve yourself of a grumpy mood is to just talk about it, seeing it here in words makes me realize how ridiculous it is to be cranky! such silly simple "problems". i'm bout to go run off all this energy so it'll be alright! and i haven't had time for yoga today cause i was up so late last night freakin working my buns off, so i'm sure once i get a little time to stretch and reflect i'll be back to my normal nice self :) hehe.

liam helps to chill me out, definitely. :)

hahaha yep this is how i feel inside!

thanks for popping by the old blog loves! hope the full moon brings you some good craziness! think i'm going to moon bathe tonight, what are doing on the full moon? sending you thoughts of love and kindness. xo

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one of a kind tuesday. rainy day t-shirt.

hi! how are ya?

i have to say, i love a little bit of rain. in small small doses, rain can be very peaceful and cozy. i loved falling asleep last night to gentle rain out the window. pat, liam, and i all lay side by side reading books at night- me: yoga anatomy (thank you sol and jon for the book!), patrick: a trading book- eiihhh some boring stuff that man reads, and liam: he can't read :(. with a candle lit and coolness in the air, i felt so cozy drifting away under comfy blankets to my favorite place- dreamland.

this t-shirt is inspired by rain, dreams, and sleep! yay :)

the rainy day t-shirt on etsy.

i hope everyone enjoys the day, whatever the weather! i know the west coast is experiencing some june gloom right now, and i hope you all are finding your sunshine elsewhere for now :). lots of love to you rainy day people!

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monday meditation.

good evening sweet peas! how are you? hope you had a relaxing and fun weekend!

today i merrily worked on clothing orders and took a nice break for some exercise with my best bud liam. we run together pretty much everyday for about 3-5 miles.

it is so sweet and a such gift to myself whenever i indulge in a simple free pleasure, as a reward for getting work done! today's pleasure- a run around collinsville with the puppy boy and now i'm eating chocolate. i'm sure i'll have a few more indulgences before the day is done too :).

here are some photos from one of liam and i's favorite running routes!