navigating.

goddess of hearts leggings! surprisingly, the lace held up amazingly at the gym!

paired with a rough sample of a crop top coming out soon :)

good day my friends! how are you?

this morning i went to my usual weight class at the gym and got my ass kicked. haha. we did squats, lunges, flys, bench press, tri's and bi's with stretch bands, too many push ups, and abs with weights. damn, it was tough, but great. i still find the contrast between what i do at the gym and my yoga to be kinda astonishing, in a good way. at the gym i feel strong (we should hope! ah!), aggressive, pushed to the max, and very much in my body. when i get home and do some yoga, i feel soft, gentle, open to whatever, and like i'm here just to take care of my mind. i know everyone's mind/body routine is unique to them because we are all such beautiful one of a kind individuals, and what works for me might not work for you and vice versa. but honestly, i could never find that peace on the yoga mat when i was pushing myself to work out hard, like i do at the gym. my ego, as our neighbor tomi pointed out, is too in tact. my crazy sensitive and emotional ego kept getting in the way of the meditational aspect of my yoga practice. i've become like a beginning yogi, all i can really do it sit and do the simplest stretches, otherwise my mind starts acting up and competing and comparing and wandering... and all that. 

so here i am on my journey, always reevaluating, changing, falling and getting up again. i don't think that will ever change, and it's something my in tact ego struggles with. it wants to arrive and stay there, but that's not how it works. there isn't a peek, only hills and valleys. it makes me happy though to learn how to play and enjoy this holy terrain for what is is, with all it's ups and downs, darks and lights, chaos and peace. hahhh, deep breaths, it's all there is.

namaste.

heavenly pants!

this is our first sample for the 'nightcall' collection! wee! see? just a touch of twinkle. nothing crazy! one of my very sweet customers asked me if i could be sure we keep some sort of "hippie-esque" line within purusha, which i think is so kind and flattering. but i want y'all to know, i'm always a dirty hippie at heart! haha! whatever that means, really. but seriously, my clothing is not about to get all trendy 80s on you, so don't fear! my interpretation of anything 80s still contains a bohemian flair, ok?! ok!

above are modal skirted leggings, so basically the most softest fabric in the world, in my opinion, and eco-friendly! did you know modal is made from beech trees? neat! and modal colors remain brighter, fabric stays softer, and doesn't pill wash after wash. the most earth friendly thing we can do is keep clothing for life. and the only way for that is to be sure your clothing is super high quality of course, but also something you don't see yourself thinking is ridiculous in a few years, ya know? i can tell you, anything made from modal, for me is a keeper! i just about died trying on these pants, just heavenly :).

have a peaceful mindful day my sweets! x!

no mud, no lotus.

my friend and teacher ashley said these words to us this morning in yoga class.

what a concept. without the ugliness, the darkness, the negativity, the shit (literal and not!), we wouldn't be able to experience profound moments of opening up to light, ease, positivity, and just the overall abundance of good. i find myself sometimes wanting to stop my negative thoughts completely, to not feel fear again, to not get nervous or anxious, but it's almost like the battling of these feelings is worse than the feelings themselves. it's kinda crazy, but we have to go into these dark places to pop out the other side into a sunrise. it's a pretty simple primitive response to want to avoid what hurts, isn't it? but if we stop and look into that pain, perhaps we can see the beauty in it and catch a glimpse of it as a step in our journey to becoming more in line with our true selves. the selves that are endlessly loving and open and not tip toeing around things to avoid what's scary. this morning ashley said to us, 'embrace a negative feeling... because on the other side of it is one of your greatest breakthroughs.'

it's definitely not easy, but today i am dipping my toes in the mud and watching as little tiny buds of my lotus heart are poking through reaching towards the sun. namaste :).

purusha's next collection : nightcall.

art c/o tracey emin

happy weekend my dearests!

today i am brainstorming! it's very fun! i'm approaching purusha's next collection exactly as that, a collection. wanna know what it's gonna be?! hehe sure you do! ;) it's going to be called 'nightcall!'. patrick thinks that sounds like a bootie call... but i'm thinking of it more as the night, or what's seemingly dark and scary, but good and beautiful too, calling you to do what you're afraid of. it's inspired by the movie 'drive', starring dream boy ryan gosling {swoon!} and carey mulligan {she's the reason i cut my hair!}, and by the main song in it 'night call' by kavinsky. so it's gonna be what i think is just the coolest styles from the 80's and 90's {the movie has an 80's thing going on. but not cheesy 80's. do you know what i mean?!}. i'm envisioning neon {not excessive. good lord.}, classic sweat pants, more nylon prints, tight little bra tops under loose flowy big arm hole tanks, a romper, stirrup leggings, a touch of sequins {again subtle. this is key}, and fun inspirational words on tops about facing the darkness. the line will be ready in about a month! yea yea!

i sure hope you are finding some time today to get creative. it's such beautiful therapy. much love!

my fitness.

i just got back from the gym! and this is what i wore :). some purusha pants and a fun vintage tank my friend colleen brought back from cambodia.

i've been thinking of taking my fitness up a notch recently. i thought it might seem a little obsessive to use this tool, but i'm finding it to be kinda fun and interesting... it's called my fitness pal . basically you log in everything you eat and your daily exercise, and before that you enter in what your goals are, so my fitness pal plans how many calories you'll need each day to get there. i didn't realize before, but i freakin' put that food away man! i was eating A LOT. i know some of you might be thinking, who cares?! you're tiny! yes true, but because i've been working out hard at the gym i want to see more results than i am now. so that's where diet steps in. right now i run or hike about 3 times a week for at least an hour, practice yoga whenever i feel like it, and go to the gym for weight classes twice a week. it's actually really manageable. and just feels damn good. but without a change to your diet, it's difficult to see the progress you're making. i'm thinking of posting before and after photos, as well as what i'm eating. i always think that kind of stuff is interesting, do you?!

anywhos! have a beautiful merry friday my dears! x.

sometimes it's so clear: 3 reasons why.

i just had a glass of wine. ha so beware. 

but seriously, sometimes huge revelations that are eerily subconsciously obvious come to light under the microscope of a mind altering substance. like a nice glass of mid priced trader joe's wine. right now i remember:

1. there is no need to compete. it's funny to say this as my job is in a competitive industry, probably one of the most competitive places to work, fashion. but when i think in that mentality, that i have something to lose and my work can be copied and you can't trust everyone... just... STOP! there is nothing wrong with being a trusting open-hearted person that doesn't believe success lies in the rat race. i find my most loved and understood works are the creations that stem from a place of purity and honesty. bask in that.

2. all you have to do it be yourself. that sounds so easy, doesn't it? but the 'yourself' that is innocent, like a child. not naive of course, just not jaded by life. the yourself you wish you could be if you didn't let fears stop you from doing what you believe is right.

3. create. all the time. don't waste a second comparing yourself to anyone else. we are all just people doing the best we can. no one has anything over you. i met someone the other day who claimed to 'not be a natural artist'. i told him 'everyone's an artist.' we all have this unreal potential to create because we are each unique, no one can think like you and put what they love into something real the way you can.

good night! sending you love.

my first yoga festival.

this weekend i got inspired.

i went to my first yoga festival ever, moksha here in topanga. i'm gonna admit on here that i felt, well, a little intimidated by the whole event. back to back yoga classes, kirtan, and i'd have to show up by myself.  i haven't been doing a whole lot of yoga asana, and sometimes all the kirtan and hindu stuff just overwhelms me and weirds me out. is that bad to say? patrick and i have been making pros and cons lists more often recently, and pretty much we always find there are very little cons to doing most things. probably also because we're not crazy and don't desire to do stupid stuff. that helps. anyways, we decided i must experience life more, therefore go to moksha, and confront my silly little fears. well what do you know?! the whole while i was there i just felt like i was swimming in peace. i mean, it's a yoga festival, that's what it's all about! when i got there i meditated with tracee stanley for 1 1/2 hours. it was challenging for sure. i nodded off for a few minutes...? but mostly felt bathed in positivity and good intentions... thinking about lovely things like miniature versions of my peaceful self in a tiny golden egg in my heart {yea!!!}, and going into a cave in my heart and finding a candle topped lotus in a pool of water {isn't that just lovely to imagine?!}. next i took an asana class with noelle beaugureau. noelle's classes always remind me to love and simply let go of the results of my efforts. and i didn't think i had it in me, but i took one more class with ashley albrand. ashley's words fill my soul to the brim. seriously next class i think i'm going to take notes...'your past empowers you.' 'when you need to do something that scares you, it's the universe waving a red flag, telling you come over here!' so so good. and in the classes i was surrounded by such beautiful people, and a few women i've met time and again that always allow me to feel loved and that i can be myself. what a gift.

my mindset this week is... openness, living without fear, remembering to laugh, and more onesies. haha yes, more onesies must happen. {i'm wearing a purusha one above!}

i hope your weekend inspired you too! namaste.

one for me.

good evening! i sure hope you are having a peaceful moment right now :). i am, 'cause i just woke up from a blissful nap! oh heaven it was! i saw patrick lying there dozing off, liam went to join him, my eyelids felt a little heavy, and i knew i was done for. 1 1/2 hours of doze-age. aw yeah.

so these pants i'm wearing were an experiment. when i do a lot of hand dyeing for my lovely customers' orders, sometimes i want a little more creativity. because dyeing the same pants in my shop over and over can get a little, well, not creative. so when i feel that sense of being boxed in imagination-wise, i often will make a freestyle pair of pants or top for myself. {this had led me to have faaar too many pairs of yoga pants. i just counted and i'm at 24 pairs. is that too much?!} in my last batch of dyeing i created these bad boy fireworks pants. i think they're pretty neat, but i'm not so in love with them that i have to sell them in the shop. not every pair can be a stunner. haha.

{i want to make a side note here and ask : does anybody have any ideas for hair styles for my short hair? i feel like i can only wear it down plain like this, but there goes my creative mind again wanting to mix it up a little. so any thoughts, please and thank you!}

good night my friends! xo.

i've done it.

entire outfit thrifted from hidden treasures topanga {laying in our loft where i keep fabrics and stuff! a place of dreams!}

i quit facebook. i almost can't believe it. last night, though, i just had this epiphany that facebook does more harm than good for me. {of course the purusha facebook page will remain. i got rid of my personal page only.} this is embarrassing to say, and i feel like, eh, a bit of a loser, but today i've experienced withdrawals. like, i click facebook on my bookmarks without even thinking about it, just looking for my fix. last night patrick and i had a very therapeutic talk about my life, my fears, and my goals. my activities on facebook keep me from my dreams. how sad is that? 

hi my name is hayley, and i am a facebook-aholic. i even tried to set up these blockers that only allowed me on facebook for allotted amounts of time, and i found myself just about always going back in and lengthening my time and leaving it there. so it was like an alcoholic saying, i can have alcohol in the house, i'll just lock it in the closet so i can't get it... and yet i kept unlocking it and betraying myself. the trouble with facebook is, that being super engaged and addicted is totally socially acceptable.  i know i am in no shape or form alone in my struggle. i really didn't even know it was such a problem until today without it, seeing how much freaking time i have. time. the most precious thing that social media was quietly stealing from me. it's crazy.

last night patrick and i made a list of facebook pros and cons. pros : stay in touch with family, inspiration, meet new people. cons : distracting, makes me anti-social in real life, stops my work on my dreams and my business, stops me from reading books, invokes jealousy over other's lives {not their real lives, the lives they present on the internet}, and damages my health from making me sit on my ass. the con 'taking time away from my dreams' made me want to cry. just... i can't believe i let this happen to me. another sad thing it did to me was, it made me lonely. i filled my need to socialize on facebook, or i falsely did, while my real life relationships fell to the wayside. we need real physical people. internet relationships don't do it. we need so much more.

i want more, more of what's real. in an age where we share and over share {and here i am sharing on my blog. ah!}, i feel this aching for real life, removed from technology, taking a hold of my gut more and more. i want to make music with patrick, travel more, make more friends, read more, take better care of myself... and i have this feeling all of this awaits me when i close my laptop. it's time to reevaluate and relearn how to live, and hold on to what's sacred and simple in our technological age. i'm ready.

namaste.

i am a crystal.

my sweet mama is here visiting with me right now and i am really trying to soak in the moments with her. {she's making us breakfast as i type! i feel so lucky!} this weekend we've been chatting about how we would love to meditate more, so this morning we did just that! i meditated on my body basically becoming a crystal, totally clear and empty and radiant in the light. we meditated on creativity, on how making space for clarity and stopping the urge to focus on work allows you to rediscover the playfulness of just creating because you love to. so so beautiful and pure. it feels really spectacular to jump start the day with a pattern of positive thinking, and trying to notice what thoughts you allow to take precedence for the day. today i'm going to keep coming back to my crystal form, so i can be fully present and enjoy this last day with my lovely mother before she heads back to connecticut tomorrow. deep deep breaths of sunlight fill up my crystal. namaste.

cupcakes.

pants c/o wildfox, top coming soon to purusha!

hi friends! how are you? how was your 4th? 

mine? i worked! haha! but only because my mom is in CA right now and i MUST have time off this weekend to see her. so i tried as best i could to hunker down on independence day and get 'er done! let me tell you, it's really really hard to work when you know pretty much the whole country is not working, and eating well, celebrating, and playing with fireworks. so i dyed some clothing and sewed, but also made a great meal with patrick in the early evening. we made burgers on the grill {mine salmon burgers of course!}, homemade fries {homemade fries are the best and SO easy! just cut up potatoes and salt and oil the heck out of them!}, grilled corn on the cob, kale salad with avocado, and my favorite- the cheapest cupcakes from whole foods. i don't know what it is, perhaps nostalgia for childhood birthday parties, but i just love a really plain super sugary vanilla cupcake. just... YUM! so that right there, made my whole day just a-ok! and we even got to listen to some fireworks. yes, listen. they were nearby, but because of these blasted mountains, we couldn't see them. fireworks are not that fun to hear and not see. ;) oh yeah, and we watched karate kid II. and what do you know, i cried during it. typical. ralph macchio, i kinda love you.

today, i'm working once more on a lovely batch of orders, with many breaks for leftover cupcakes, mind you. hope you have a happy and relaxing weekend! x.

right now.

you guys. right now it is so hot out in topanga. it's been hot for about the past 5 days or so, saturday being the topper at 108 degrees. lordy lordy. so there has been a whooole lot of slothing about trying to keep my limbs from touching. {please excuse my overall grubbage (is that even a word?! grubby-ness?)} and plenty of staying indoors with the AC running while laying in front of the fan. i plan on being camped out here on the bed for the next few hours, emailing, working on my new website, and planning nadya's work for tomorrow when we meet up downtown. and patrick was sweet enough to make me a smoothie- organic raspberries, banana, almond milk, and maca up protein powder. not too shabby! :) know what else i've been drinking? water with cucumbers in it. so refreshing! it makes the water taste so clean and crisp, and then you get to eat the cucumbers after! YAY! what's your favorite beat the heat summer drink? because i think i need some. hehe ;) xo!